My husband took a little trip this week, and I had pretty laid time. My watercolors are spread out in the dining room, so I can paint and be near the puppies.
They have kept me company while Rich was away.
Here is a snippet of the painting. I always start with the eyes. I’ll show the finished piece once the recipient gets to see it.
Besides painting, going for walks, playing with puppies, and battling an epic ant invasion, I’ve slowly started to work on getting the babies to intermingle.
It starts with a few play dates, then moves on to mixed cuddle puddles.
Although the play dates aren’t much more than naps yet, anyway.
The Sugarbabies have moved into the main part of our home along with the Butterballs. Sugar is much more possessive of hers than Honey is, so we are taking this slow, with supervised visitations. If I am not with them, Shuggie and the little ones go back to the bathroom nest.
Eventually, they will all be too big (and stinky, and I have to admit, they are edging up on that stinky part pretty fast) to be kept in here.
I have a nursery set up in the garage where they will be at night, then they will have the breezeway to hang out in on nice days with access to the yard.
Most of my time with Rich away on his trip, I had Sugarwings here with me. But I had one day, all to myself for the first time in months. I missed Rich, since his retirement, and especially since Covid, we have spent all of our days together.
But since Ryan died, I kept thinking I needed a day to just think of him, to be on my own, to not have any “have to’s”. Life is hectic and as people always say- it goes on.
I have been grieving, I have been sad, I have had him on my mind every single minute. There has been a Ryan sized hole in my life, but I haven’t had time just to let that happen. I’ve kept going.
Yesterday, I had my months delayed day. I spent most of it doing things Ryan and I used to do together. I walked with the dogs, played with puppies, and then took more walks. I cleaned the stove top with a razor blade (that was one of his things, he took pride in a job well done, no matter how tedious, he worked with a good attitude and got things done.)
I made a frozen pizza the way Ryan used to make them for me, extra cheese, chopped veggies, black olives, rosemary, and turkey pepperoni. Then, I binge watched one of our favorite shows. I missed his laughs, and our constant conversation commenting on what was happening on the screen, but I enjoyed my day.
I enjoyed thinking about how much fun we used to have together. I thought about the joy he was always able to express about the little things that made him happy. Like a brand new season of a good Netflix show. Pizza night. A walk. A shiny stovetop. Laughing about something silly a dog just did.
Ryan faced difficulties in his life, surviving bullying over his disabilities that left him distrusting people’s intentions toward him. He overcame addictions. He had been taken advantage of. He had suffered in his life. All of this left him with insecurities. But he also found a quiet happiness and satisfaction in hard work and small pleasures. He was a person who appreciated the moment when good things happened.
My day “with Ryan” was appreciated.
It was worth waiting for.
