January 2022 – Karla's Cottage

How are you? Seriously, how are you doing?

By Karla Nathan / January 30, 2022

This pandemic seems to never stop.

Daily, I hear that multiple people I care about have gotten ill, or can’t get a test, or were exposed. Not just a few people here and there, but

every

single

day.

The never ending contagion is always lurking in the back of my mind, a constant, “what’s next?”

It isn’t so much waiting for the next shoe to drop, it feels more like waiting for the next elephant to drop.

There is just a lot of sadness and worry rumbling and grumbling around in the backgrounds of our lives that sometimes we don’t even notice, it’s just a part of things.

But it’s there. Like having bad elevator music as the new soundtrack of your daily activities, you try not to listen, but then you find yourself humming some abhorrent song that you can’t shake.

Stir in a little inflation, a pinch of supply chain struggles, a big dollop of potential school closings, flavored with the hard to swallow taste of politics and there you have it- underlying trauma brewing and simmering in your brain.

Then, the regular ups and downs we all face are added over those underlying, relentless worries. No wonder you read about people snapping, they are stretched too tightly!

I'm so lucky to have a wonderful network of friends and family who support each other, and are there to talk to. But when so many of them have sad news to share, sometimes it just feels hopelessly sad all over.

I consider myself an even keeled person. Someone who rolls with situations, does what they can to improve what can be improved and deals with what can’t. And I vent, things don’t stay bottled up. If you know me, you know every thing that has recently delighted or disappointed me because I am sharing it all.

But the other day, my spring was sprung.

Something that should not have turned into such a huge moment did, and I was so angry that my heart was racing, my head felt as if it might explode. I talked myself down, made plans that could take care of the issue if it arose again, then decided I would craft some jewelry to give away, taking my thoughts off of myself and onto creating and thinking of others.

As the day went on, my shakiness and headache became worse not better, and I thought I should take my blood pressure (which is usually maintained at a nice, low rate). It was high, but not sky high. So I took Advil and a needed nap. When I woke up, I felt worse and the BP was now at that sky high point.

After a few hours at the ER, it came back down, no damage done. The nurse and doctor I saw, were stretched to their limits but compassionate. I felt silly taking up their time during a pandemic, but they told me not to feel that way, that stress can cause physical problems and that when it affects you that strongly you are in the stroke/heart attack danger zone.

So, take care of yourselves, don’t ignore the stress that eats at you, it can gobble you up if you let it.

I thought I had a handle on things, but did I? Do you?

Ryan’s birthday

celebrations, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / January 27, 2022

Today is Ryan’s birthday. He always loved that day. He didn’t expect much, or ask for anything, he was a guy of simple pleasures.

He often took his week’s vacation from work around this date, just to relax.

Our family does a big dinner for the birthday person, not always on the exact date, but when we can all get the same day free. Many years, it would just be myself and Ryan, sometimes Sugarwings too on January 27. So he and I would get a double celebration, once with the group, and another with just us.

It seems like there was always snow on those evenings. Bitter cold nights, that neither of us liked to face, but we were glad we did. It seemed to be Jayhawks basketball time too, which neither of us like. And with his sensory disorder, the loud games were upsetting. So we’d find a quiet restaurant with no tv blaring a game, or people shouting for their team. It was often Mexican food, and we would eat too many chips and guacamole, drink Diet Cokes, laugh, and plan what show we would watch when we got home.

Simple evenings with my buddy, having fun, just being together.

Grief is a odd thing. How it can morph from joyful memories to deep despair, shoot out at you with no warning with unexpected jolts of pain, or of sweetly remembered pleasant thoughts.

Grief is also layered when you lose a child. I miss my companion of the later years, my friend. My guac and Diet Coke buddy who I watched my favorite shows with, critiquing, laughing, and guessing about the plots throughout.

He and I could talk for hours about nothing and be entertained.

But then there are the flashes of his childhood that come after me with a fury. When I remember that the tiny baby I held in my arms was dead. That the silly little boy who loved to dance would never dance again.

A new look for the office

cottage, dogs, family, paintings, redos

By Karla Nathan / January 24, 2022

We finished the transformation of Rich’s office. Well, almost. We need a different sofa.

And for right now, the little nook that he is using as a computer area is just a board screwed to the wall, not a desk or table.

The rest of the room is all done, and everyone is enjoying the pool/ping pong table.

Most of the workout equipment is in the spot where all of the file cabinets and desks used to be.

The treadmill is behind the seating area, facing the tv, and there is room for an exercise bike next to it.

The walls are freshly painted and patched.

I filled the knotholes in the barn wood window sills with turquoise chips and clear coated the wood. After years of sunshine pouring in, they were cracking and dull.

We added new blinds and lighting, my son replaced the flooring.

The newly framed “ancestor” pictures hang below a sign pulled from the wreckage of the gas station Rich’s grandfather owned.

Some of these family photos were updated and reframed. I still need to get a few others up there. I think I have room for four more, a smaller one on each side of the bottom and top rows.

I have wanted that carpet gone for years, and am very pleased with the new, cleaned up version of the room! All of the hard parts are done, now I get to go furniture shopping for a new couch.

Light and bright white

cottage, dogs, redos

By Karla Nathan / January 22, 2022

While I had all of my painting paraphilia out for redoing my husband’s office, I thought it would be a good time to repaint my bedroom and master bath.

Of course, I had completely forgotten that I am a senior citizen. And that after painting a huge room, stairway, and bathroom, maybe I needed a break?

Less than halfway through the bedroom, I remembered.

Yep, I was exhausted. So, I only repainted the doors, trim, wall, and sink area bathroom cabinet. I didn’t make it around the corner to the master bath.

I am taking a little break from the physical labor!

And enjoying the tranquility I created in that room.

One of the reasons it was so hard, was that I used a very pure white. If I’d softened the color, I’d have gotten better coverage. The pure white wore me down to a nub, it took sooo many touch ups. Plus I had snow blindness from staring at the glaring, blank, white walls, trying to see where skips showed through and guessing if that area needed a touch up or was actually a shadow.

The color isn’t a huge change from the soft gray/blue that was previously on the walls, but it feels like it because everything is so fresh, bright and clean. I think that painting the doors and trim the exact color of the walls (with a different sheen) makes the ceiling stand out, while also giving the room a feeling of being bigger.

The old curtains were tan, as were the doors. Changing those made the biggest difference. And were an inexpensive purchase on Amazon. Man, they have cheap curtains, and it was so easy to get 108” ones, unlike shopping in person!).

With four dogs and ten acres for them to run on, maybe I should’ve painted the entire room the tan color instead of getting rid of it. Soon, there will be muddy marks all around the room from happy, wagging tails slapping everything.

I’ll enjoy the pure white I tried so hard to apply as long as I can.

Keeping the winter woes at bay

cottage

By Karla Nathan / January 19, 2022

After repainting my bedroom and redoing the sink area in it, I decided to switch out bathroom mirrors.

Mostly because midwinter sucks and I needed some entertainment.

I can endlessly entertain myself by moving stuff around to different rooms. Of course, it would probably be even more fun I was buying new things to add instead of recycling my existing junk.

This mirror switcheroo is a good one. My redone sink area is all white now, the doors used to be darker and there were red roses on the vanity. I like the clean lines and pure whites.

This big mirror was fetched from the studio and with it right behind me as I stand at the sink, I can see the back of my head with the folding sides of the white mirror.

The one in the guest bath now, never really went well with the granite countertop in my bedroom. I think it looks better with the white, wooden vanity in the other room.

Little things like fresh flowers and mixing up the crap in the house from one room to another are going to help get me through these cold days.

I am such a winter whimp!

A little dinner party

cottage, friends, We're having a party

By Karla Nathan / January 16, 2022

After all of the holiday entertaining, January was feeling a little flat without any. Plus, while we had some gorgeous days here and there, I was busy repainting a couple of rooms and missed going for walks. When it got cold again, I was done with the big jobs, and I really needed to get moving, the city’s activity center was closed due to the shortages of staff that everyone is suffering from now. I couldn’t go for an indoor walk when I was ready to.

So, I was feeling a tad down.

A party was just what I needed to beat the January doldrums!

To be extra festive, I made place cards . Not that I cared where anyone sat, I just thought it would be fun to do.

Rich and Jim are both beekeepers, so theirs got honeybees.

I made a peach pie and marinated grouper fillets that Rich caught in Key West in some Caesar yogurt and breaded them with panko, flour, salt and pepper. Then sautéed the fish in avocado oil and butter.

As I was cooking them, I thought it looked like it needed something more, so I whipped up a lemon, white wine and caper sauce to go over it. My first taste of it puckered my throat, it was so lemony, so I quickly added some chicken broth and milk.

It turned out okay, but for a few minutes I thought my typical, making stuff up on the fly way of cooking might backfire on me, as my friends were eating their salads and waiting for the fish to be ready.

I did screw up the pie. My glass pie pan broke, and I had to use a metal one. I don’t typically time things, I cook til they look done. But I was used to being able to peek through the glass to see if the crust was browned.

It was a bit doughy since I couldn’t visually check it. I might need to become a cookbook/timer person if I keep making mistakes. But I don’t take cooking very seriously, so maybe not.

The evening really was just what I needed, it is hard to feel gloomy with a roomful of best buds!

In praise of gallery walls

cottage, family, flowers, Hand painted

By Karla Nathan / January 13, 2022

As an artist, I seem to have a proliferation of stuff to go on my walls. As a person who enjoys taking pictures, and has very cute grandfairies, I also want their photos up there too.

So, groupings are how I usually handle that. The trouble is, I hate to get rid of old pictures that I love, but new ones keep coming along. On this wall, I added a few of our family fairy pictures to the existing collection.

We are in the process of redoing Rich’s office. My talented son put this floor in over the holiday, and it has been a huge improvement over the old carpet.
Previously, Rich had a gallery wall of barn wood framed family photos that he wants back up again. While they are down, I’m sprucing them up and switching a few out. (Photos to come when the room is done.)

Then, he had another request.

He wants our parents and grandparents on display too.

It is sweet of him to want this, so I have been working on a display that complements the other family wall but doesn’t match it.

I’d had big plans for painting some large landscapes to hang up there (we are out of room everywhere else) but like I said, this is sweet of him to want. He also wants to hang work mementos that I thought would be leaving, so I guess I won’t be painting landscapes for the room.

Looks like I’ll be sticking to roses to hang elsewhere. He deserves a space that is just as he wants it, since he deals with my stuff running rampant through the rest of the house.

And I have learned that he has some good ideas, too. I hated the thought of getting this dining table, to replace my all white one, and now am happy to have it.

Rich had a favorite tree fall down, and wanted to keep a piece of it forever, so we had this made.

See what I mean? He is very sweet.

A little sparkle, a little nature, a new look for January

cottage

By Karla Nathan / January 9, 2022

My Christmas decorations go up early, and every single morning, starting in November, I flip the switch on every power strip the lights plug into, before I have even let dogs out or made coffee.

At night, after the doggies have been tucked in, the lights are regrettably turned off. If it was feasible, they’d be on 24 hours a day around here.

Once the season of cheer ends, I can’t face the long cold winter without some extra lighting, so I leave icy style garlands with mini twinkle bulbs above some windows and add lamps to the previously used power strips for some ambient glow to help me get through the insidious, dark, and and awful month of January.

Natural elements and plants are good aids in surviving winter, too.

And I like the sparkle of glass this time of year.

The mercury glass stays for the rest of the winter, with some pink roses and hearts added for February.

There is also something to be said for cleared spaces and clean lines, after the clutter of Christmas. Filling my cottage with multiple collections and trees for November and December might be just what I need for that time, but by about 12/26, I am ready for simplicity.

Well, my idea of simplicity, at least! I still love my stuff.

Just a little less stuff than normal. And in neutral tones.

There are a few hints of color peeking out here and there, mostly muted. And who can trash their poinsettias just because their holiday passed? I always have a mixed feeling about them, because those flowers really shout “CHRISTMAS” to me. But it feels like murder to get rid of them in January. I’ve never been able to keep them alive too long, so it’s not a big problem. But this year might be different, the two I bought months ago still are thriving and lovely.

There is a big splash of color from this glass art a friend made. It makes me feel like sunshine is pouring in the room.

Actually, as far as January, we have had more bright light than we typically get. Enough bright light to show every muddy dog foot print on the floor! Oh well, be careful what you wish for, right?

The sunlight has been cheery, almost to the point that I forget it’s snowy and cold out there.

Stretching out the cheeriness and overcoming teen apathy, ending our Christmas on a sweet note

celebrations, dogs, family, Food and Drink, holiday decor, Sugarwings

By Karla Nathan / January 5, 2022

About halfway between Christmas and New Years I am itching to take down the holiday decorations. The gifts are unwrapped, chaos has occurred with all of the celebrating, cooking, sleepovers, and piles of stuff here and there. I am ready for clean lines and tidiness.

Instead of flipping the switch from over the top, non stop Christmas that started in November to the simpleness of January right away like I want to, I make myself wait until the grand fairies either go back to Mom’s house or to school, because I want them to enjoy their winter break to the max, and atmosphere matters.

But just a couple days after our big celebration, I saw that Sugarwings was curled up in the couch nest (that was claimed as their permanent spot when Covid hit and school was online) being a non involved teen just looking at tic toks, and I saw no reason to keep it festive around here.

So I started hauling out boxes and setting up a ladder, preparing for the big, annual packing up.

Then it occurred to me that the fun didn’t have to end if I didn’t want it to.

So, in the messy midst of all of the boxes and bins, with some things half pulled down, I declared it was time for a cocoa party by the last lingering lights of the trees.

We turned on a Christmas movie marathon, plopped ourselves down to a tray full of our favorite cocoa party goodies and the two of us had one of my favorite days of the holiday break.

Funny thing, I barely like hot chocolate. I just looooove the festive-ness, tradition, and ceremony of serving it. And I love Sugarwings.

We missed our little Dewdrop, and it was a different sort of holiday with no little kids around. But I know that a celebration is what you make it, it can be special and exciting if you make the effort. And even teenagers can be invested and joyous when that effort is put out there.

A year of fairies, family, flowers, and furry friends

celebrations, Corona virus, family

By Karla Nathan / January 1, 2022

Last year might have ended in worry and cancellations but it began in hope. And ours started on the wings of fairies, which was pretty special.

We were blessed to be with our fairy family for Christmas and New Year’s Eve 2021. After what 2020 had put us all through, we were ready to face a brighter future.

Rich and I volunteered at vaccine clinics, where I was the coldest I have ever been in my life. On a day of 14 degrees, I worked outside for six hours, something my family still can’t quite believe that a person as terrified of being chilly like I am, could do.

Volunteering at this event not only showed me that I was tougher than I thought, it brought hope to me that our lives could be somewhat normal again.

We headed south for a few weeks to the beach where I got to make lots of fairies to give thanks for the blessings in my life.

We took four dogs with us in a 19’ camper, which isn’t as bad as it sounds. They are every bit as much underfoot in our home as they are in the trailer. Two doodles, a retriever and a Yorkie provide many tripping opportunities, no matter how small the kitchen I am cooking in is.

And what is better than being somewhere warm and blooming, away from a cold, Kansas winter?

Coming home is always hard for me. While I am away, it’s easier to not expect to see Ryan. He rarely traveled with us.

Returning to an empty house without his happy grin of welcome is rough to get used to.

These furry bundles of love came along in the spring. They fill my heart up, in a bittersweet way.

I can almost feel Ryan by my side laughing at their silliness like he used to do. He loved the puppies as much as I do. Having them around was a help in getting through the anniversary of his death.

For two months, I did nothing but care for the babies. When they slept, I’d do paintings of them, and talk to prospective families. I got very little sleep and picked up mountains of poo.

But I also had weeks of furry snuggles and joy.

The babies helped me through the loss of two of our Yorkies. The pups were right there with me when Twinkle had her stroke. As I held her in my arms during convulsions, those little dogs watched with compassion and care. I could tell they would grow up to be loving pets when I saw how they wanted to comfort Twinkle and I.

The very next week, we lost our boy, Albie. I don’t know what I’d have done without armloads of furry, warm puppies to get me through it.

There is so much joy in these little bodies, that you just have to smile even while in pain!

We took another camping getaway to the mountains of North Carolina.

Where I crafted riverbank fairies of rocks instead of seashells in the sand.

This is the year that Sugarwings grew up and became a teen, not a child.

And our Hippy Chic got her Master’s to become a midwife.

Painting flowers and landscapes got me back into the studio. I still haven’t added to my Boutique or planned a Birdsong event, but both have been on my mind. I’d started feeling out the prospect of an arty weekend, and then, BOOM, along came Delta.

So, I’ll be sticking to my solitary studio time for now. It would devastate me to host a Birdsong and have anyone become ill while visiting.

On a second trip to Florida, I got to watch countless dolphins, see sharks up close, and find amazing piles of shells on a teensy island.

There was a lot to be thankful to nature for.

It was also kinda nice to have the dogs cared for by family while we stayed in hotels instead of a camper.

I even got to visit Tinker Bell!

After a spectacular Disney adventure, I headed to Indian Shores to be with sisters and nieces. It was a beach I was unfamiliar with, and was surprised by the lack of larger shells. So, I used itty bitty shells to leave a mosaic fairy on the shore.

This might just be a new favorite art form for me. Painting with seashells!

Thanksgiving brought us a visit from Dewdrop and a great family weekend to be plenty thankful for.

Stories of the proliferation of Omicron made me value every moment of holiday celebrations we had.

And to remember to appreciate those around me and what is important.

I am wishing you a safe and happy 2022. With this horrid curse of a virus fading away.