celebrations – Page 6 – Karla's Cottage

In the land of heart shaped rocks

celebrations, Corona virus, family, Ryan, sea shell fairies

By Karla Nathan / July 12, 2020

We have been doing some traveling. Yes, I know that in the Time of Corona, that is an iffy thing. But we have a new RV that allows us to avoid all public restrooms and restaurants, we roll with our own kitchen and bathroom. All we need to do is pump gas, then park and picnic inside the bubble of our little home on wheels.

This trip was to Wyoming, where the virus hasn’t become a big threat. We gathered at the spacious lake house we’d gone to before on our big family reunion. This time, the attendance was much smaller, due to the concerns of the plague hanging over us all.

Honestly, I was not a fan of the idea. Shouldn’t we all just stay home, doing our part to stop the spread?

But, my husband and I are dealing with our boy’s death in different ways. I couldn’t even speak to anyone at all for along time, he wants his people around him, and was especially missing his family. Whom I also love, and love to spend time with. It meant a lot to him, he needed his people.

I felt more than a little guilty about indulging ourselves with a vacation/family reunion but knew that this one was about as safe as one could be.

Buying the new camper made me feel pretty secure. And we questioned everyone we were going to be seeing on their practices. Our family members had all been careful, working at home, shopping at early morning senior hours, staying in, etc.

A couple of weeks ago, we took the RV to North Carolina for the grand fairies to see their daddy, and while NC is far from as virus free as the remote lands of Wyoming, that had gone well and had also been very careful there.

So, I took some of Ryan’s ashes from the urn Ed Noonen had gifted us with and carefully packed some in the “to go vase” he had also made. Actually, the small vase was a separate gift, not exactly meant to be a traveling ash container, but it seemed ideal for that purpose. I have mentioned that Ry wasn’t fond of getting out and seeing the world. But when we last vacationed in Casper, he rode along and had a great time.

We had pulled a camper then too. Not because the lake house was too crowded, it sleeps DOZENS, but to provide a private place for him to retreat to if needed. We practically forced him to come and used the fact that it was his grandma’s 85th birthday to guilt him into it.

And we were so glad we did. He joined in, laughed with everyone, took long walks in the hills with me, helped in the kitchen, and even placed pretty high in the ping pong tournament. It was such a pleasure to remember him there with us, that we wanted to spread some of his remains in a spot that had been special to us.

This might sound odd, and might also mean that I am totally losing it, but carefully tending to the ashes, and wrapping them up to take along reminded me of taking care of him as a baby. Geez, why did I even tell you that? I do sound crazy. And grief will do that to you. Maybe I felt like I was doing something for him like I used to when he was just little?

Sugarwings and Dewdrop went hiking with their cousins and all of the girls brought back heart shaped rocks for me.

I do not remember seeing any at all when we were there three years ago. But on this visit? They were abundant.

The largest rock is next to his urn now. The teeniest is wrapped up in a note to him, inside the urn.

When I came across the smaller, almost perfect heart, I knew it would be an ideal bodice along with the larger hearts as wings and skirt, to form an angel for my boy.

There is twisty, weathered wood all around too. I picked up pieces to make a frame around his angel. Then took the ashes out to it, and let Sugarwings sprinkle them over it all.

While I hadn’t thought I needed this trip, like my husband did, I found out that I certainly had. Staying in a unique spot that was full of happy memories and being able to create this angel for Ryan with stones found by the girls was good for me.

As was spending time with two of the dearest sister-in-laws anyone could have. Both of them offered their own big hearts to me when I sobbed.

My husband says the time was healing for him.

I can’t say that for myself. Right now, I don’t see any possibility of ever healing.

But I can say that when people who care about me were there to listen to me talk about our loss, and to show their love, I knew that I had not lost everything. It is good to feel their love, when I needed it so badly.

I know that with this virus ramping up and raging through our world, not everyone has the luxury of buying an RV to go be near family. Although our son is dead, I still feel blessed for what we do have. And my heart goes out to those who suffer through the loss of the ones they love completely alone due to the isolation we are all going through.

A look back, it is good to have a blog to keep as a diary

celebrations, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / July 5, 2020

I was looking through past blog posts to see if I could find photos of Ryan that I didn't have in files. Here are some stories that I discovered in my archives.

I hope Ryan knew how much pride I had in him. I can't believe that when he was little, I used to think that I would be taking care of him all of his life, but he turned that around and became the person who took care of me. There wasn't a single day with him that he didn't try to do something for me, big or little. But the caring and the effort was always there. Thank you, Ryan, for always being there for me.

Here is a post from January 2012. (Yes, he needed a haircut, but he was still pretty dang cute)

My oldest son had a birthday this week. I realized that I rarely get photos of him, so when the family took him out to celebrate at his favorite restaurant, I made sure to bring my camera.

He always chooses this Japanese steak house on his birthday for Sugarwings because he knows she has so much fun there.

He's a loving uncle, a handsome guy, a hard worker, a sweet man, and I'm proud to have his as a son.

He has a strong work ethic and has been working 2 part time jobs for years, but just recently went full time at one of them.

He goes to the gym almost everyday, takes care of himself, saved up for and bought his own car, does his own laundry, and is a good cook.

He lost about 100 pounds and has kept it off for years and years.

Ryan has never had it easy. He has to try a lot harder than other people, but he never gives up. He has excelled in his life and when I tell people that my son works full time at a convenience store, I say it with a big glob of pride, every bit as much pride as the mother of a gifted student who becomes a rocket scientist would have.

Probably more pride because I know how he has struggled to get so far.

When customers are rude to him and tell him to hurry, I wonder if they realize how hurtful that is? That they are being cruel to someone who always tries his hardest and has accomplished more than anyone ever thought he would?

They don't see past the surface.

I think people see his blue eyes, handsome face, and 6 pack abs, and don't even realize that he has learning difficulties. They might see how shy and quiet he is and not realize that he has a speech problem, they will just think he isn't friendly, or has little to say. He has also been called stoned or drunk when people hear his speech or see that he is slow at times when trying to do something.

Ryan has been taken advantage of by some bad people in the past. Low lifes who used his sweet nature against him, so now he lives with us, in an apartment we built over my studio. Its important for him to have his independence, but also to be near family.

But we are lucky to have him here. He helps around the kitchen, mows our acreage, carries in groceries, and never, ever leaves a room without saying "I love you". And that is usually accompanied by me getting a kiss on the top of my head.

Is my family as perfect as it looks on the surface? Oh heavens no.

When you look past the surface you see something better than perfection.

You can see what caring, love, and strength built by adversity and a determination to make it all work better than it should, can do for a circle of people who need each other in their lives.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And here is a post from July 2015, when we took the entire family to Florida and Ryan surprised me by saying he would go to Disney too:

Ry Guy said he wanted to come to the park too. Now, he has been a bit of a recluse for the last 10-15 years. He doesn't like crowds, and doesn't get out much. He is a big, ole, sweetheart, but has a lot of anxieties. I was worried about him coming on the trip at all, let alone spend time at the park with the hoards of people. I promised him his very own room, so he could retreat if needed.

And you know what? He didn't need to hide. Ryan gets the Happy Camper Award for best vacationer. He was amazing, and I saw a side of him that I didn't know he had. I could tell that at times, it was not easy for him, but he made himself stick it all out, even when he had the option of going back to the hotel to get away from the heat and the people.

He stayed with me, knowing I was tired, and hadn't got much rest, and was there for me all day when I needed him. And when hotel rooms needed to be changed around, he stepped up and offered to share. I was proud of my son, and how he left his comfort zone behind when he joined the family on this vacation.

Big memories, but a small memorial

celebrations, Corona virus, family, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / June 21, 2020

We had an ancient oak on our property, just over the creek. My husband would snuggle under it with his little grand fairies and tell them family stories. He wanted to share memories of people who had passed and places they had come from.

They always called it the “Grandfather Tree”.

When it was lost to a storm, we had it turned into a dining table, big enough to seat our whole family without pulling in extra tables for more space. When we were together, we were a total of 11, and I’d joked it was a Nathans’ Dozen, kinda like a bakers’ Dozen wasn’t exactly twelve either.

When Ryan died, his Indiana cousins sent a tiny oak for us to plant. I don’t know if they knew about the Grandfather Tree, or if it was just luck that the gift they sent was also an oak. But when Sugarwings saw the type of tree, she suggested we call it “The Uncle Tree”. She used a wood burning tool to write that on a sign her daddy made from some cedar planks we had.

We planted the little tree, and most of the remaining Nathan Dozen sprinkled some ashes on it, while saying something about Ry Guy. I had confetti to throw too. He would have thought that was funny.

He was always laughing with me.

As I was gathering up the wrappings the oak had come in, I almost threw away a small, silver plaque that said “The Cousin Tree” that had been sent along with it. We added that to Sugarwings’ sign.

The oak is near our gazebo, filled with the wind chimes we received and the ones Ryan had hung there.

On the other side of the gazebo is a weeping redbud that was sent by the Guncles, and a vintage rose bush sent by a friend.

Rich and I like to turn on a sprinkler that waters them in an arc around us, while the hens play in the spray and the breeze makes the chimes sing to us. On the hottest days, this is a cool, shady place to sit with a glass of wine in the evening, holding Dorothy (Ryan’s favorite dog) on my lap.

Ry and I had a habit of watching a tv show together every night after dinner, and this has taken the place of tv watching for that hour. It is comforting.

Sometimes, I sit there and embroider.

The roses Ryan had planted for me were in full bloom the day we planted the Uncle Tree, so we placed some ashes around the rose bush too, and on the iris bulbs he had planted. Although the rest of the iris around the farm were done, there was one last flower in the patch.

Because of the Corona Virus, there was no funeral.

There was no hustle bustle of running to the airport to gather up family members and hugs from far away.

Ryan was a quiet guy who didn’t care for crowds. With his sensory disorder, crowded places were physically hard for him to be in. But he was also a loving soul who enjoyed his one on one conversations when he was in a group.

I feel bad that he did not get a big goodbye, but he is one of many who could not have the funeral they should’ve. We have lost over 100,000 people, plus the ones like my boy, who died, not from the virus itself, but from what I feel is Covid related circumstances.

Maybe our small gathering due to social distancing was just what Ryan would have preferred. And while I missed being able to have a funeral, I felt as if I had gotten hugs from afar with all of the cards, letters, flowers, and gifts that caring people had sent.

I treasured each and every kind message, comment, and thought. I am rereading notes, drying flowers, and saving empty vases to mosaic on. We are tending bushes and trees sent in his memory and listening to the melody of the wind in the chimes. Each and every compassionate item that came to us helped, and was appreciated.

Thank you all for caring.

And Ryan, thank you for being my friend, walking buddy, caretaker, horror movie watching companion, helper, and my little boy.

I will always miss my baby.

Birthday Party Decor Without a Trip to the Store

celebrations, Corona virus, cottage, family, flowers, Food and Drink, Sugarwings, We're having a party

By Karla Nathan / May 9, 2020

There are many things that social distancing has made more complicated. And hosting a birthday party was one of them. Sugarwings spends time between our household and her mom’s, so our two groups have been able to mingle, but sadly, we could not have other family members over to celebrate with us.

We also couldn’t pop into a store for last minute items, like the balloons that Sugarwings wanted for the table. She loves planning our family parties, and is the one who set this up.

We did have one last package of water balloons leftover from last summer, the kind that come in a big bunch, that you hook up directly to a faucet to fill up.

She could have taken each off its stem and blown it up, but we decided balloons filled with water could be extra fun. We floated them in clear glass bowls and used them as a centerpiece.

There were some banner pieces packed away, but not anything personal, so the Grand Fairy printed some dragons to hang onto the banners. And we agreed that the colorful dragons tied in the color of the balloons to the banners.

But the best part of the meal was the dolce de leche cheesecake that our Hippy Chick spent all afternoon working on. She came over to our house to bake it, and that added to the festive feel of putting a party together.

We missed the rest of our big family, but know that staying away, and staying healthy now means we will be celebrating with them later when all of this ends.

Happy Birthday, Sugar!

celebrations, Corona virus, dogs, Goldendoodle Puppies

By Karla Nathan / May 2, 2020

My friend, Mary, who has Sugar’s BIG, and by that, I mean GIANT, brother, Pip, said she’d like to celebrate the doggies’ birthdays.

She and her daughter brought over bones and birthday treats, plus another brother, Wolfie.

The brothers are best friends, who get to have play dates together. They seemed pretty happy to be visiting, and loved exploring the creek.

There was so much excitement that it was hard to get a photo of the whole group.

They all seemed happy to see each other and Honey got a sorta hug from her boy.

He is a lovable guy.
And doesn’t he have the best lashes?

I always enjoy a dog party of any kind. But during this time of isolation, it was even more fun to see a friend (from a few feet away) and visit with my curly babies out in the sunshine.

It was just what I needed. A day does not go by without me counting my blessings. One thing that I am extra grateful for is that Springtime in Kansas gives me the opportunity to get outside and enjoy these guys, go for walks, work in the yard, and just plain old, breathe in some fresh air.

I hope you are finding joy where you can too.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

celebrations, holiday decor

By Karla Nathan / February 14, 2020

We are spending our Valentine’s Day in the tiny trailer at St Augustine Beach. But before I left, I enjoyed the holiday pretties that I’d made at my friend’s valentine get together and had them on display out in the studio.

I’d crafted this pipe cleaner heart from the inspiration of Lori Oles’ Christmas project during A Snowbird’s Song.

Hers was a ball made from pipe cleaners and filled with flowers. I reshaped the ball into a heart.

At the craft day, Tami provided furry pipe cleaners and printed faces for us to make dolls.

I made a white kitty.

And a little girl.

While my home was light on the displays of holiday pretties, what I did have out was special to me.

Baby Bro, Guncle Randy, surprised me with this gorgeousness more than a week before the trip, so I had time to enjoy them before our adventure. And the few tidbits that I’d made with friends were filled with memories of a fun day.

Highlights for 2019 of trips, redos, art events, and more

celebrations, family

By Karla Nathan / January 1, 2020

While 2019 had some very rough moments, there were some major highlights for me too. Sugarwings and I have spent maybe about 10,000 gajillion hours together in the studio, and this year, she seemed to come into her own with coming up with well executed, interesting projects.

There were many times that she would show me something and I'd be surprised a kid had done it. Like these hot glue roses. Really nice!

I also got to host a few gatherings, like "Love Bird Song" for Valentine's Day, where I became addicted to cutting carrots into heart shapes and made up excuses to have visitors just to serve more heart shaped carrots.

Sadly, though, the day after the class, I slipped in the studio and conked my head. If you are going to be keeping track, this is Concussion #1.

And Art Event #1

My buddy, Karen came to the cottage to teach in August, and we had a great weekend with friends.

Art Event #2 (these aren't in order, I am just counting them)

Then, one big ole, wonderful, weekend happened in November with A Snowbird's Song, and I am still feeling happy thoughts thinking about that get together!

(And yes, I am planning on doing one again in November 2020, please come and join the fun!)

Art Event #3

In February, I taught at the Cozy Castle, with two Valenting projects.

And guess what? I will be doing that again this February!! It will be a bittersweet experience, her gorgeous home has sold, and this will be my last visit to see her while I happen to be in Florida vacationing. I am quite glad to get one more night in that lovely place.

Art Event #4

In April, Jenn Hayslip invited me to teach at Jekyll Island where I roomed with my Honey Bunny, Guncle Randy.

Art Event #5

We laughed our fluffy little bunny tails off, and had a great time with great people.

After I taught at the Cozy Castle, my husband and Sugarwings met me in Orlando, and we drove down to Ft Lauderdale for some winter getaway beach time.

Then, he played golf with friends while she and I hung with Mickey.

And if you are going to be keeping track, this is Disney #1.

After Jenn's event in Georgia, I was flying home from Jacksonville, and of course, had to spend time at Guncleland while there. And when in Florida, I thought it would be smart to meet up with Terry and Dale to make a lil visit to Disney again..

Disney #2

We spent a day at Universal too.

And oops! See the forehead starting to turn color?

Yep.

Concussion #2, I got dizzy on a ride and fell face first into a wall of lockers.

June held a trip to Park City to Terry's grand masquerade/family reunion.

Where we had some exciting dress up time, and bonding with loved ones.

All of the other trips were flying (mostly on free flights from Southwest points) but I took a cross country trip to pick up Dewdrop by car and stopped in Indy to see my family there.

And I got to spend a night at my fab friend, Lori's beautiful home in Louisville too.

During a roadside antique mall stop, I found these curtains that inspired a bathroom redo when I got home.

Redo count? #1

A huge moment in last spring was redoing my studio. I straightened, sorted, painted, and rearranged to make a much more useful space. It was a week of nonstop hard work, but I still am uplifted by the redo everytime I walk in there.

Redo count #2

Redo count #3 A not so interesting redo, but one I was proud of myself for tackling was power washing and repainting this garage all by myself. Although, if I knew what was ahead of me, I probably would have just taken the time to rest up instead…

Because that is when my son's family broke up and we had to do a major redo on this house to get it on the market before the brief, fall selling season was over. We tore down out buildings, repainted the shed, cleaned out the garage, repainted ceilings, bathroom cabinets, stairs, and all but two rooms. Then hauled gravel and shovelled it into the driveway, redid flower beds, mowed and mowed and trimmed and trimmed, and hauled off all of the household of filth and junk and everything else the temporary renters had left including maggots in the kitchen and well, I won't get into that, I am letting it all go….

The house looked homey and welcoming after our nonstop month of work and it sold with multiple offers in less than a week, so, as I said, I am letting the rage and exhaustion go.

Or at least trying.

Redo count? #4- to #4,000?

It felt like more.

Having a houseful of doodle babies to come home to every day, sure made me feel better. I loved every second of time I had with these wonderful pups, they were my smartest, sweetest litter, ever.

After we finished the house, we flew the kids to Clearwater Beach and to Disney. We wanted them to know that even though our son wasn't with their mom, we loved them and they were family. Also, we wanted to celebrate my husband's retirement.

He left his job just as we started working to get that house sold.

Disney count #3

Clearwater is where this happened.

Concussion count #3

My Dr. says that if I were an athlete, I would be benched.

After A Snow Bird's Song, I had one more trip, another reunion. This time, for our annual Sister Trip to Florida, we were joined by my sister's kids. It was such a joy to spend time with them, even though the weather at home in KS was warmer than it was in Sarasota most of the week. We just wrapped up in lots of blankets and layers and enjoyed the patio anyway. Luckily, before the time we had to go home there was sunshine and a couple of perfect days.

But for the Disney count? Nope, I didn't sneak out for a day at the park, the count ended at 3. Each was loved and appreciated, but I think that might be the end of my Disney days for a while, our trips will be different now with my handsome husband happily retired.

The year ended with a room full of love. I had cried my heart out while getting that house ready to sell, not thinking we would ever have another big family dinner together.

But, I am lucky to have these people in my life. And even with the changes, disruptions, unheavels, and moves, they came together for the holiday and that meant the world to me. This year had its rough times.

But it sure had its good ones too.

Thank you, 2019 for the lessons and for the love.

Our Cottage Christmas

celebrations, Dew Drop, dogs, family, holiday decor, Sugarwings

By Karla Nathan / December 27, 2019

Could I describe Christmas as both laid back and lively at the same time?

Maybe what I mean is that we had a lot of fun with simple pleasures.

Like princess cocoa parties with melting snowmen cocoa bombs while using Nanny’s china.

Decorating sugar cookies and gingerbread men together.

Taking advantage of the unusually, lovely weather by going for long walks.

In jammies.

We had a build your own calzone/pizza bar, so everyone got their favorites and it was a group effort for Christmas Eve dinner.

I chopped and sautéed most of the toppings the day in advance, then Ryan helped with the rest.

We had a house full for both days, with almost the entire family sleeping over, staying up late to watch holiday movies, using the hot tub to relax, and playing the games that were given as gifts.

I think what made it all so wonderfully sweet was that there was nothing at all formal about it. There was a nice, casual flow about the holiday.

We went light on gifts, with easy meals, took a few walks, had a wonderful time with everyone under one roof.

Dewdrop will be with us for the rest of winter break, so there will be more family fun time to come.

Sugarwings has plans for surprising her lil sis with elf pranks every day. We will see some movies, hang out in the studio to make things with all the new art supplies they got, and of course, snack away on those beautifully decorated cookies.

I hope your holiday was a blessed one too.

Holiday Happenings

celebrations, family, friends

By Karla Nathan / December 19, 2019

I never turn down a Christmas invitation and look for as many holiday adventures to cram into December as I can.

Meeting up with friends for lunch and going shopping? Yes, please!

Especially a visit to Angie’s. She lives within walking distance of the museum, where we ate at the courtyard cafe, the made me feel as tho I was dining in Europe.

(I fell in love with that dyed wreath! And have plans to try to dye some of my dried hydrangeas aqua…)

We peeked around the museum and soaked up a smidgeon of culture before heading out to shop.

The displays at J’Dore were inspiring. We hit a thrift store too.

But the best part? Just chatting and catching up over sparkly wine and chocolates at Angie’s pretty apartment in the sky.

The grand fairies and I had a night out to see a Magical Cirque Christmas. It reminded me more of an old school variety show than a typical Cirque extravaganza. The teens thought it was new and different, having not grown up in the age of Ed Sullivan.

Sugarwings loved the corny magician, and while we had a late night for a Tuesday, it was worth all of the sleepy yawns on Wednesday morning.

She and I also attended Matilda at the local theater. There is a kid friendly play there every year at the holidays and we have a happy tradition of going.

Tonight is the last, big bash of the year, a party for her Martial Arts group, with dinner and dancing at the Doubletree. Last year we danced so hard, Sugarwings’ shoes fell apart.

Well, I guess I mean the last outside function, we will be rocking around the Christmas tree with Dewdrop soon!

She will be back in Kansas for Christmas break. I am thrilled to be having our tiniest family member with us again.

I have been on pins and needles with the transportation plans, they have been iffy, but seem straightened out now.

We will be having cocoa parties in front of the tree, dancing North Pole Style together (to a kid’s musical dance party toy that most of the family finds annoying, but that we love), and making gingerbread men together.

Because there can always be a party waiting to happen if you just look for it.

Happy Thanksgiving

celebrations, Dew Drop, family

By Karla Nathan / November 27, 2019

As years pass and circumstances change, so do family holidays. I did not expect to have a big Thanksgiving dinner this year, but was happily surprised when we could get everyone together the Sunday before.

After getting back late Friday night from my Florida Sister Trip, I woke up to Dewdrop and her dad here for visit.

We celebrated with a breakfast cocoa party in front of a Christmas program. Then started whipping up and prepping for a family dinner on Sunday.

We only had a few days with her, so got as much squeezed into that time as we could. We weren’t together on her birthday, so took a trip to Target for her to choose a gift.

We snuck in as many cuddles as we could, went to see Frozen 2, had a couple of dance parties, and crafted. The poor kid got sick while here, so much of the time she was napping and watching movies.

They are headed back east today, and it might be a while til I see her again. I feel thankful that she was here, no matter how long.

At the airport Friday night, this tree was available to add a leaf with your thankful messages to it. I wrote one that said, “people I love”

And I wasn’t surprised to find that many of the leaves expressed similar sentiments. Family was repeated many times. I hope that all of those travelers writing about their family were on their way to see them and be together.

Thanksgiving Day itself will be a quiet one this year for us, but the date on the calendar isn’t what counts. I am lucky I had a family day, and some time with my little one.

I will take that any day of the year.