family

How can the world’s worst vacation turn into a special and fun time? I spent it with My People.  When I have them around me, all is good.  

Even when it’s bad.

The plan was to take our Sister Trip to Florida, and bring the “kids”.  We found an ideally located home on Bobbie’s favorite beach, right next to the condos we adore staying at, but large and luxurious enough to hold a dozen of us. It even had three bathrooms! And walked out directly onto the sand with a view from the balcony that matched our beloved spot from previous Sister Trips.

But then you might’ve heard- there was a hurricane that blew from the gulf all the way up to my son’s home in North Carolina.  I was an emotional wreck, and couldn’t even think about what to do about the Siesta Key trip.  (My family members in the Asheville area are all doing okay, thank goodness)

There is an iffy line you need to figure out if you’ve got an upcoming vacation when a disaster strikes.  It is heart wrenching to imagine what they are facing.

Of course you want to be respectful and considerate of what people living there are going through.  Since my kids were in the center of the behemoth of a storm themselves, I could understand how ravaged lives are at a time like that.  But you also have to consider when, how and what to cancel, right?

Plus, it’s a tourist area, and supporting the locals with travel dollars is vital, if possible.  We soon found out it wasn’t, so tried planning elsewhere, with our numbers dwindling from an original dozen to maybe 8 or so, and without a firm plan on where to go. Then heard another possible hurricane was coming.

Not to sound uncaring about the people in danger of the storm, but monkey wrenches were being flung hither and yon to hinder our trip. 

Our on again, off again itinerary was starting to angst me up, and I dropped out too.  Then others cancelled and I figured I’d drive to Indy and spend my week there.  We planned mini trip to a French Lick resort and some other activities and I was looking forward to it.

But oops- another monkey wrench, this time in the form of pneumonia for Sissy!  But she was being treated, the party was still on, we were going to make it a vacation no matter what. Till she had some scary complications that shook me to my core. She is doing well now! But at the time, I was freaking out, it was the exact same time last year that similar problems were developing with Bobbie.  The dejavu burbled up in me like a volcano with burning hot fear.

I had to tell myself this was different, there is no underlying cancer like there was with Bobbie Sue, Sissy would do well- and she did do well.  But tell that to my nervous system and stress responses. 

Sissy was recovering so nicely we wanted to go out for a fancy, staycation dinner to celebrate.  And the evening was so meant to be, we kept seeing signs throughout the meal.  My balsamic vinegar formed a heart in the olive oil, which might seem silly to take note of, but was meaningful to us.

Then a guy walked by wearing a tee shirt from Bobbie’s favorite Florida restaurant!  I went and talked to him, got a photo of his shirt then retuned to my seat to discover a heart in the print hanging by our table.

As I sat down, I must’ve bumped my watch, because a memo popped up reminding me that the calendar noted we should be in Siesta Key.

Of course, I was in tears, plus we were laughing over all the coincidences.  Now, I do NOT need signs to miss or be reminded of my sister.  But spotting these little hearts and tidbits feel like messages that she will always be with me.

That day, a tree had been marked with a memorial sign for Bobbie, so after an emotional meal, we went to the park to visit it. It was a windy night, and the sign was blowing around on its branch like it was waving at us.

My week in Pendleton was filled with extreme emotions, but also lots of togetherness.  We did not get to walk together on the shore, but my nieces and I spent lots of time on the trails of local parks.  We no longer had Bobbie with us, but she was part of our days. 

We didn’t have a view of the ocean, but we had the sun shining through the turning leaves.

And we had each other to laugh, cry, play, and worry with.  Is it wrong that I feel like I had one of my favorite vacations?  

It’s one I will treasure.

Where did the season go? It’s been a laid back, slow summer with flusters of activity on weekends when Rich is in town from his consulting job in Nebraska.  While he’s gone, I make a lot in the studio, watch a lot on tv at night, but rarely do much around the house.

When he is back, we go to the dog park, do yard work, I cook a bit, we sit in the gazebo in the evening for a glass of wine and watch hens scratch for worms.  Now, you might not think chicken watching sounds like much, but after a day of hard work (Rich does most of that, he works all week then drives three hours home to work all weekend), it’s very peaceful to sit in a shady spot and watch the various hierarchies in the flock play out. There is usually some drama, as well as some sister bonding time between them. 

One weekend, Rich picked a couple sinkfuls of our apples, we peeled and cooked them up to freeze.  I have enough for pies on the major holidays for the upcoming year.   We have more on the tree, and might tackle them this week.

After Rich climbed back into the truck and headed back north, I noticed there were pears in another tree.  So I pulled the ladder out and picked the ones I could reach.  After getting the easiest ones, I stared up, wondering how I could get more.  They are big, solid, and perfect so I didn’t want to miss any.

I tried pulling a branch down toward me, but with my rotator cuff tear along with a fear of heights, I didn’t get far in shaking any free.  So I looked up and contemplated it some more.

My branch wiggling must’ve loosened one, because as I stared upwards, one giant, unripe, hard as a brick pear fell from way, way up at the top of the tree, right onto my upturned nose.

With my history of head knocks and concussions, my first thought was, well, here I go again.  But nope, besides having an extremely sore face and a mild bruise, I was fine.  As a clumsy person prone to accidents, I was pretty proud of the fact that I stayed on the ladder, didn’t get a black eye, nothing broke.

But the other pears are still up in the tree.  Mocking me with their deliciousness, taunting me to try again.  

I'm not falling for it.  I know I was dang lucky to stay on the ladder last time.

The weather for August has been remarkable.  I have rarely turned the air conditioner on at all.   In the evenings, my cottage in the elm and mulberry trees has a nice breeze blowing through the screens. During the day, my studio seems to mostly stay cool on it’s on. It’s felt more like late September, early October than summery temps.

Weirdly, I feel like this summer just melted away from me somehow, and now all of a sudden it’s gone.  Maybe it has to do with selling the boat? No trips out on the lake after 29 years out there?  I do not feel like I missed boating, but I guess it did define our seasons. 

Maybe it’s grief? I miss my sister, and our calls.  She lived a few states away, but we were always in contact.  I’m grieving for her,  still grieving for my boy.  Summer is slipping away, seasons pass, but my heart doesn’t heal.

Well, death is part of life, I go on,  I stay busy, I appreciate what I have and what beauty each season brings.  What I can create.  And the people I have in my life.  But that grief is always there.  

Today would’ve been my sister’s birthday.  But I miss her everyday.

 

Summer started off slowly and lazily.

 Sugarwings went to North Carolina for a few weeks, Rich started a job in Nebraska.  

I was on my own with just the doggies as company.

Then, BLAMMO! Both grand fairies arrived from out east and we had non stop fun, making the most of our time together.

We had parties, we went to movies, restaurants, shopping, did crafts, spent time in Nebraska with their Pop Pop, went shopping, went to the zoo, a Royals game, and did I mention shopping?

The littlest grand fairy wanted to do all the nostalgic things they remembered from their childhood.  

Uhm, she is 13 now.

So we ate at her favorite places, and I did my best to spoil her to pieces, with popsicles in the hot tub, some splurgey shopping trips, and letting her pick out any jewelry she wanted from my shop.

We had planned on going to the Omaha zoo, but realized that sometimes a day just to relax is as much fun as seeking fun on the run.  But we did make it to the KC zoo for a couple hours one day.  It was a big hit, and I wondered if skipping the Omaha trip had been smart.  Oh well, that’s available next time, it’s a pretty cool zoo.  

There is only so much time in a summer break. 

I treasured every bit of this one.  When you have teens that will hold hands with you as you stroll through the mall, that is a memory to hold onto forever.  

Summer is winding down now.  Dewdrop is back in NC, Sugarwings starts school this week.  I’ll be back to nonstop work in the studio to get my Christmas sparkly inventory created.  The flurry of excitement, giggles, busyness, (and shopping) is done.

After our scary movie night for Summerween, we took a trip up to Lincoln, NE to stay with Rich where he has taken a “I’m retired, but I will do a few jobs here and there” gig.  And he loves it, it’s a gorgeous club, with a hard working staff, delicious food, and ambitions to be even better than it is now.

Poor guy.  Rich is working his butt off at this out of town job, but for us, it was a fantastic vacation.

His job is at a country club, but for us it was a resort getaway.

He took us on a golf cart ride to see the sights.  Pretty, isn’t it?

Pretty inside too.  Just like this little Grandfairy.  

Best part?  Not just soakin up the sunshine and the luxurious atmosphere, but watching these teens play like kids again.  

The dogs were glad to have Dewdrop back too, and happy to be vacationing with us while poor Rich worked late hours. 

When not at the pool, we did some shopping for back to school stuff at Scheels, made use of the photo ops, and rode the Ferris wheel. We we saw the new Despicable Me movie, went to the dog park, and crafted.

I’m experimenting with new gills that are extra ruffly for my mushies.  While the kiddos hit the pool, I made a couple dozen of them.

Dewdrop made a few too, I love having a crafting buddy.

It couldn’t have been a better vacation spot to visit.  

 

Isn’t this the cutest? I love Sharon’s grin!

Steve and Sharon had honeymooned at the beach, and for their 40th anniversary, their family rented a beach home and surprised them with a vow renewal and vacation.

Steve was my husband’s big brother, and a great guy who never met a stranger.  Steve could talk to anyone, anywhere.  He was multi talented, and had a knack in repairing or building just about anything.  
There were many times over the years that he bailed us out on fix ups at the cottage, or delved into major remodeling at minor cost to us.  Our home wouldn’t be what it is without Steve’s skills.

We lost Steve within a matter of just days after their seaside adventure.  He was surrounded by his four kids, wife and a couple of siblings as he left, ringed with love.  It all happened much too quickly, just like my sister, Bobbie.

 Last fall, Rich and I had healthy brothers and sisters, then my sister’s lung cancer diagnosis came, and she was soon gone.  It was discovered that Steve also had lung cancer, not too long after.

She died our mother’s birthday in February.  

He died on his dad’s birthday in May.

We are stunned to have such major, and unexpected tears in our family dynamics, losing two beloved people.

Steve, like Bobbie, also had a fantastic group of kids who supported and cared for him through his illness.  I am so proud of all these nieces and nephews who have shown such strength and kindness through heartache.   Their deceased  parents  had to have left this life with the knowledge that they made the world a better place by raising these special people.  

Steve will be missed- his big smile, friendly personality, and novel ways of solving problems brought smiles to all around him.  He faced the world with a contagious optimism that felt good to be around.  He had loyal friends for good reasons.

 And a wife he cherished.  Steve always had a twinkle in his eye when he looked at his Sharon.