family – Page 3 – Karla's Cottage

Our Valentine’s Day and the loved ones we remember

By Karla Nathan / February 13, 2025

Sugarwings and I cannot resist a holiday themed cocoa party.

So we picked out some special mugs and coordinating Jammie pants to be ready to celebrate in style.

I gathered up hearts and roses to decorate our cocoa station. But, the bottles of flavored syrups that I’m hooked on had ugly labels that did not look festive, so I made some prettier ones on my computer for them.

We also dug out the recipe book that my sister, Bobbie had compiled with family favorites in it. Her specialty was a buttermilk sheet cake.

The Grandfairy and I will be making that together in honor of Bobbie, whose last name was Valentine. She passed on the 16th, my mom’s birthday. And Ryan was adopted by Rich on the 14th, so we have loved ones to honor this week.

There will most likely be a few tears when we clink our mugs together and have chocolate cake while thinking of the ones we miss. But my kiddo and I will be making new memories and traditions together that I hope will carry into the future.

Ryan’s birthday

family, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / January 28, 2025

The 27th is Ryan’s birthday which makes his birthstone a garnet. I decided to make myself a garnet bracelet with a silver heart to wear on his day.

Bobbie’s last name was Valentine and the anniversary of losing her is two days after the holiday, so I made one in honor of her too.

After losing ones I love so much, reminders aren’t needed, they stay in my thoughts. Sometimes as a soft murmur in the background, others like a wail. Or a quiet giggle heard from across the room. A constant reminder.

Still symbols and trinkets while not needed, can be pleasant to have. With a glance at my wrist while wearing these, I can imagine Ryan looking over my shoulder while I am crafting and saying, “That’s cool, mom”. Or sharing pictures of my creations with Bobbie, who loved making beaded bracelets too.

Grief hasn’t left me, but it does take on different forms. Since losing my sister in February, I’ve had some rough patches. There were some times when I simply didn’t care much about the world around me, and I was doing just the bare minimum to get by. Some days, maybe I didn’t even get that much done.

I might be in a better place right now, but who knows. The sadness is always there, the missing them never ends.

We lost a kind hearted brother this year too. I grieve for him and his family who are experiencing a year of “first times without”.

I have no advice for anyone who has experienced death of a loved one. All I know is that those I love will always be with me. And I take solace in the little things, the sound of Ryan’s wind chimes, fixing his favorite meal, making a bracelet with he and Bobbie in my mind as I create.

A twist on traditions

family, games

By Karla Nathan / December 30, 2024

One word describes our Christmas- Fun. From the endless variety of mocktail and specialty coffees Sugarwings made, to the games and dances we did, to the parties and plays we attended.

We had laughter, silliness, and togetherness.

Plus kazoos.

After the huge bathroom remodel and foundation catastrophe, I was behind in my work. When you’re in retail, the last quarter of the year takes over your world, and I had taken a huge break from the stuff I needed to do. It took some energy to ramp up my inventory and be ready for the rush.

So as Christmas neared, I still hadn’t started my shopping. Plus, I’d just spent an unplanned chunk of cash on the home repairs.

My solution? Presents under the tree for only the two teens, games with prizes for everyone else. Prizes were gift cards, cash and socks.

Soooo many socks.

An exception was made for the dogs, it breaks their hearts to see gifts unwrapped and not get one of their own.

One year, they did not receive anything to open and they were so sad, I promised to never leave them out again.

So of course, they each got a little something just for them.

Everyone else had to win a gift, but I had plenty to make sure all got a couple. Most games were of the red cup variety, seen on tic tok. This reindeer game was a little different, and kinda hard.

The dogs found these antlers in the woods, and Sugarwings wrapped them in lights. Then we used glow stick bracelets as rings, turned off all the lights and started a ring toss.

But the highlight of the night was our dances!

We paired off and made up interpretive dances to our favorite holiday songs.

I got to be Rudolf and Rich played both Santa and Prancer. He was pretty good. And we did it with a straight face, a major accomplishment.

I might have just stumbled upon the best way for us to do Christmas. Experiences, not gifts. Except for missing my boys, it was about the best holiday I’ve had.

A gingerbread village

family, holiday decor

By Karla Nathan / December 26, 2024

We tried something new this holiday season.

We skipped the gingerbread and used chipboard houses or wooden birdhouses.

The fam makes some spectacular cookie houses every Christmas, and they get fed to the chickens when we are done.

Using wood and chipboard gives permanence to their creations so we can enjoy them year after year.

We already got a chance to display these homes for our cocoa party on the 25th.

Some people used a gingerbread colored paint for a background, others used royal icing tones. I made my two blue, they are gifts for my sister and her favorite color.

On the back of hers is an “S” for Sissy and a heart for our lost sister, Bobbie.

The “icing” we decorated them with is tubes of puffy paint or glitter paint meant for tee shirts.

Sugarwings made polymer clay candy and cookie shapes to add to them, and I provided bowls of odd and ends I’d collected over time.

New tradition? I hope so!

Kinda like making lemonade when life gives you lemons

family, Food and Drink, jewelry

By Karla Nathan / November 28, 2024

Did I mention how hard the renovation we just went through was? The work was grueling. But after finishing for the day, we’d have jewelry parties at night.

Being with my boy, getting to be creative, certainly helped me get through the exhaustion. And the fact that Adam got the job done so quickly didn’t hurt either. If we’d gone through a contractor, we could’ve faced months of a torn up bathroom and laundry room, not just days. And doing it as a family saved us a ton of money too.

Mine is on the left, with a golden opal. Adam’s on the right with smoky quartz.

He crafted his with a mathematical scheme, mine was more random. I lay out piles of color on my bead board, and move them around til I find balance.

These are both mine, first is a mother of pearl “doublet” topped with quartz from the gem show, 2nd is a pearl mosaic I made. One is slightly longer than the other so I can wear them together.

I also whipped up a ton of holiday colored bracelets for Good Juju and to give to friends.
Too bad that I didn’t get more pics of what Adam made, he was as talented in creating jewelry as he was in rebuilding our foundation and creating a beautiful new bathroom.

His child joined in too, Sugarwings made these pieces. The kiddo stayed with us most of the time he was in town. It was great to have them both around during such a stressful time to turn things around into something special instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was strenuous labor to get through, but working by my son’s side, watching his skills with pride, making jokes, and then making jewelry was a delightful way to tackle a huge project like ripping out the back of the house and redoing the bathroom.

I was also lucky enough to have a new favorite person added I too my life. Adam’s partner, Jacquelyn flew out to join him for a week. I vastly enjoyed getting to know her, and appreciated the way she pitched in on the hard work too.

She made these two bracelets.

And some earrings, as well as a few other nice pieces. Once again, I didn’t get photos of them all.

Another thing I did not get enough pictures of? Jacquelyn’s cooking. Her plates of food were art.

Colorful, all natural, delicious, and healthy too. As the person who typically does all the meals, I appreciated the effort she made along with the discovery of how nice it is to work your butt off then sit down to a plate of tasty food someone fixed for you. What a treat!

Little Dewdrop couldn’t be here with us, and her dad missed her birthday to do this job for us. We sent her a gift and got to see her open it on FaceTime, but he was still pretty sad to miss out on being there in person. Each of us put together bracelets for her that he can personally hand to her when he returns to North Carolina.

The one with the silver and crystal moon is from me, because her nickname is Tiny Moon.

Everytime I wear one of the necklaces I put together during this reno, I’ll have a reminder of my son and how he turned what could’ve been a hell into a special time.

What a great, but awful week

family

By Karla Nathan / October 28, 2024

How can the world’s worst vacation turn into a special and fun time? I spent it with My People. When I have them around me, all is good.

Even when it’s bad.

The plan was to take our Sister Trip to Florida, and bring the “kids”. We found an ideally located home on Bobbie’s favorite beach, right next to the condos we adore staying at, but large and luxurious enough to hold a dozen of us. It even had three bathrooms! And walked out directly onto the sand with a view from the balcony that matched our beloved spot from previous Sister Trips.

But then you might’ve heard- there was a hurricane that blew from the gulf all the way up to my son’s home in North Carolina. I was an emotional wreck, and couldn’t even think about what to do about the Siesta Key trip. (My family members in the Asheville area are all doing okay, thank goodness)

There is an iffy line you need to figure out if you’ve got an upcoming vacation when a disaster strikes. It is heart wrenching to imagine what they are facing.

Of course you want to be respectful and considerate of what people living there are going through. Since my kids were in the center of the behemoth of a storm themselves, I could understand how ravaged lives are at a time like that. But you also have to consider when, how and what to cancel, right?

Plus, it’s a tourist area, and supporting the locals with travel dollars is vital, if possible. We soon found out it wasn’t, so tried planning elsewhere, with our numbers dwindling from an original dozen to maybe 8 or so, and without a firm plan on where to go. Then heard another possible hurricane was coming.

Not to sound uncaring about the people in danger of the storm, but monkey wrenches were being flung hither and yon to hinder our trip.

Our on again, off again itinerary was starting to angst me up, and I dropped out too. Then others cancelled and I figured I’d drive to Indy and spend my week there. We planned mini trip to a French Lick resort and some other activities and I was looking forward to it.

But oops- another monkey wrench, this time in the form of pneumonia for Sissy! But she was being treated, the party was still on, we were going to make it a vacation no matter what. Till she had some scary complications that shook me to my core. She is doing well now! But at the time, I was freaking out, it was the exact same time last year that similar problems were developing with Bobbie. The dejavu burbled up in me like a volcano with burning hot fear.

I had to tell myself this was different, there is no underlying cancer like there was with Bobbie Sue, Sissy would do well- and she did do well. But tell that to my nervous system and stress responses.

Sissy was recovering so nicely we wanted to go out for a fancy, staycation dinner to celebrate. And the evening was so meant to be, we kept seeing signs throughout the meal. My balsamic vinegar formed a heart in the olive oil, which might seem silly to take note of, but was meaningful to us.

Then a guy walked by wearing a tee shirt from Bobbie’s favorite Florida restaurant! I went and talked to him, got a photo of his shirt then retuned to my seat to discover a heart in the print hanging by our table.

As I sat down, I must’ve bumped my watch, because a memo popped up reminding me that the calendar noted we should be in Siesta Key.

Of course, I was in tears, plus we were laughing over all the coincidences. Now, I do NOT need signs to miss or be reminded of my sister. But spotting these little hearts and tidbits feel like messages that she will always be with me.

That day, a tree had been marked with a memorial sign for Bobbie, so after an emotional meal, we went to the park to visit it. It was a windy night, and the sign was blowing around on its branch like it was waving at us.

My week in Pendleton was filled with extreme emotions, but also lots of togetherness. We did not get to walk together on the shore, but my nieces and I spent lots of time on the trails of local parks. We no longer had Bobbie with us, but she was part of our days.

We didn’t have a view of the ocean, but we had the sun shining through the turning leaves.

And we had each other to laugh, cry, play, and worry with. Is it wrong that I feel like I had one of my favorite vacations?

It’s one I will treasure.

A garden wedding in the Appalachians

family, flowers, We're having a party

By Karla Nathan / September 23, 2024

Where can I find a chandelier crystal this size? I was mesmerized by it.

Although that exceedingly large, rainbow filled, spectacular prism of light was not the only detail that caught my eye at this old, Victorian home.

The gardens were charming, too and made an ideal location for the wedding of the homeowners. Both of their personalities shone through each design choice.

Especially the sentimentality and love for family that they both share.

One corner of the dining room was filled with photos of the couples’ families. This is the bride’s great grandmother.

The bracelet the bride wore was also worn in that portrait. And her ring? It is two wedding rings from their parents melted down and recreated into this new piece by her mother, a metal smith.

Constant reminders of the pair’s love of art, are sprinkled through the house and grounds. Paintings from professional artists who are family members and friends, collections of hand crafted coolness, and creative DYIs done in preparation for the wedding and to fix up the home.

Their dedication to an artful life stood out to me in the small things too. Like placing star shapes around the picnic table as a resist before power washing it, leaving a two toned, star sprinkled table afterward.

Hydrangea booms tied together into heart shapes lined the driveway.

Centerpieces were constructed of bowls of moss with figurines perched on top.

At the lovebird’s table, the moss was topped with- lovebirds. Tiny, and subtle, but fitting in with the theme of the night.

And did I mention that she made her skirt? It had major sparkles going on, with 3D flowers that don’t show up well in my photos, but sure did in person.

While I was busy oohing and ahhing over the multitude of great ideas, sweet details, and artwork that caught my eye, I still noticed one big thing that stood out more than anything else.

Happiness.

It was a crowd full of people that loved Mark and Allie, people who were so happy for them.

Sometimes ya gotta break a few rules

cottage, family, Food and Drink, games, Halloween treats

By Karla Nathan / September 17, 2024

Sugarwings and I have a strict rule.

You can drink cocoa any time at all. But you cannot have a cocoa party unless you sit in front of a glowing Christmas tree.

Then I saw this teapot at Homegoods, and our rule loosened up.

It inspired a Halloween themed cocoa display.

Complete with a glass cauldron to hold our spoons and rat poison additives for deliciousness. (We did not use the jar to hold any foodstuffs, it’s just for fun)

We got some skelly cups to drink our potions from.

With skelly napkins to mop up drips of blood. I mean, chocolate.

We invited a little witch to join us.

Then added some mood lighting.

The new rule, in addition to the Christmas tree rule, is that cocoa parties can only be held with the proper ambient lighting, ghostly paraphernalia, and a scary movie on the tv.

Fall family and farm stuff

cottage, family, Food and Drink, guncles

By Karla Nathan / September 8, 2024

We had such a nice time with the Guncles! Randy and I even got a full day in the studio together to make angels with the pin cushion dolls he brought to use.

We had a couple of dog walks, enjoying the mellow weather that came with the beginning of September.

Terry and Dale swang by on the way home from their long Florida to Canada drive. It was almost becoming an accidental family reunion. At least a mini one, Rich has a huge family.

We hadn’t planned it out this way, it just luckily happened that Terry and Dale were driving through while Guncles were visiting.

Little Dorothy got plenty of snuggles. She loves it when these guys come to town.

The visit wasnt all just about strolling around, chatting, and cutting up old lace, though. Stuff got done! Rich and Kevin cleaned the chicken coop, then picked apples and green beans from the garden. We peeled until late into the night, cooking and freezing apples for pie.

Rich brought in the honey comb from the hives and we got it bottled up. There wasn’t a big harvest this year, but that doesn’t change the amount of cleanup afterwards. Whether you get one gallon or five, you are still left with a kitchen full of sticky equipment. But also delicious honey to share, so all is good. I made up a charcuterie board that included a bowl of gooey honey comb that was worth all of the wiping down with warm soapy water that the kitchen required.

Speaking of honeycomb, check out this sky we were treated to after finishing the bee job! A sky filled with glowing honeycomb.

We might not be in Florida with fresh seafood, but the Guncles still worked their butts off feeding us great meals. One night was Kevin’s famous grilled turkey burgers, next was Randy’s signature lemon chicken, and then on my night to cook, Kevin took over and made fresh marinara sauce with chicken parm. All I did while they were here was a little bit of bread.

On our final night, Sugarwings hosted a Hocus Pocus cocoa party.

Complete with eyeballs on the cobbler made with the apples from our tree. I might not enjoy the time it takes to cut up all of that fruit, but it was made easier by so many hands, and I loved having loved ones here to share “the fruits of our labor” with.

These two couples who came to see us might technically be Rich’s family, but they each own huge chunks of real estate in my heart and I consider them my sibs too. Thanks for the visit, everyone!

As summer ends

family

By Karla Nathan / August 26, 2024

Where did the season go? It’s been a laid back, slow summer with flusters of activity on weekends when Rich is in town from his consulting job in Nebraska. While he’s gone, I make a lot in the studio, watch a lot on tv at night, but rarely do much around the house.

When he is back, we go to the dog park, do yard work, I cook a bit, we sit in the gazebo in the evening for a glass of wine and watch hens scratch for worms. Now, you might not think chicken watching sounds like much, but after a day of hard work (Rich does most of that, he works all week then drives three hours home to work all weekend), it’s very peaceful to sit in a shady spot and watch the various hierarchies in the flock play out. There is usually some drama, as well as some sister bonding time between them.

One weekend, Rich picked a couple sinkfuls of our apples, we peeled and cooked them up to freeze. I have enough for pies on the major holidays for the upcoming year. We have more on the tree, and might tackle them this week.

After Rich climbed back into the truck and headed back north, I noticed there were pears in another tree. So I pulled the ladder out and picked the ones I could reach. After getting the easiest ones, I stared up, wondering how I could get more. They are big, solid, and perfect so I didn’t want to miss any.

I tried pulling a branch down toward me, but with my rotator cuff tear along with a fear of heights, I didn’t get far in shaking any free. So I looked up and contemplated it some more.

My branch wiggling must’ve loosened one, because as I stared upwards, one giant, unripe, hard as a brick pear fell from way, way up at the top of the tree, right onto my upturned nose.

With my history of head knocks and concussions, my first thought was, well, here I go again. But nope, besides having an extremely sore face and a mild bruise, I was fine. As a clumsy person prone to accidents, I was pretty proud of the fact that I stayed on the ladder, didn’t get a black eye, nothing broke.

But the other pears are still up in the tree. Mocking me with their deliciousness, taunting me to try again.

I'm not falling for it. I know I was dang lucky to stay on the ladder last time.

The weather for August has been remarkable. I have rarely turned the air conditioner on at all. In the evenings, my cottage in the elm and mulberry trees has a nice breeze blowing through the screens. During the day, my studio seems to mostly stay cool on it’s on. It’s felt more like late September, early October than summery temps.

Weirdly, I feel like this summer just melted away from me somehow, and now all of a sudden it’s gone. Maybe it has to do with selling the boat? No trips out on the lake after 29 years out there? I do not feel like I missed boating, but I guess it did define our seasons.

Maybe it’s grief? I miss my sister, and our calls. She lived a few states away, but we were always in contact. I’m grieving for her, still grieving for my boy. Summer is slipping away, seasons pass, but my heart doesn’t heal.

Well, death is part of life, I go on, I stay busy, I appreciate what I have and what beauty each season brings. What I can create. And the people I have in my life. But that grief is always there.

Today would’ve been my sister’s birthday. But I miss her everyday.