flowers
Kindnesses sparked redos
Corona virus, cottage, family, flowers, friends, Ryan 
While my friends and I have gotten to be pretty good at meeting up for walks, socially distant porch parties, and other safe activities where we can visit in ventilated places somewhat apart from each other, we haven’t figured out how to do a Mosaic Day together.
We used to gather most Thursdays in Shan’s basement studio, catch up on each other’s happenings, and glue glass bits from the vast bins of colors Shanna had for us to dig through, onto all sorts of items.
Over a year ago, I started this pot, and since I couldn’t make it there every week, or sometimes brought a pressing work project from home instead, it took a long time to progress. But just as I was getting excited about completion, Covid hit and all production halted.
Then recently, my sweet and talented friend offered finish the pot for me and I was thrilled! My design was done, the background and grout were all that was left, and she was going to help with the grout anyway.
Plus, this way, I could call the pot a collaboration with a master stain glass artist!
(See the stunning piece hanging behind her? Also, please notice the beautiful doodle, one of Sugar’s babies, Shan’s home is full of pretty creations.)
How generous of her to do this for me.
When Ryan died, we received a planter jam packed with greenery. It has been a couple of months now, and while I’m slightly sure I could’ve kept them alive as is, I was relieved to have something larger to transplant them into.
While I was at it, I repotted some other plants and spread the arrangement into some extra pots too.
Then, while picking up supplies at Hobby Lobby, I saw these blue coffee pots on clearance and got one to go along with the refreshing of the kitchen I’d started with the new plantings.
Cheerful, right?
And cheery is very much appreciated right now. Missing Ryan is a constant with me, and I know always will be. I write notes to him, talk to him on my walks, sit in the gazebo and listen to his wind chimes. I think of all the boring little details in my life that he would have listened to me telling him about. And how he honestly would be interested in hearing them.
For the first few weeks, it seemed like we had so much going on, kids to entertain and feed, places to go, chores to do, projects to work on. Dinners to cook, shopping to do. I complained to myself that I just wanted to be left alone.
That I wanted to crawl into bed and not get out.
That I wanted to be alone to be sad and not do anything at all.
Looking back, I wonder if I was doing it right all along, by just keeping going. Not just keeping busy, but being active and part of the world around me. Which isn’t easy to do in the Age of Corona. And it isn’t easy to do when I am sad. But for me, it probably was the best thing I could do.
Heart break will always be with me. But it also makes me realize that the good that surrounds me might not always be with with me. I work to treasure my blessings, appreciate what I have, and to keep my home as much of a pretty, and peaceful sanctuary as I can. To reach out to friends and family that I love.
To not curl up in the darkness.
A place to hold hands and reminisce for our 35th anniversary
celebrations, cottage, flowers, Ryan
For our 35th anniversary on Monday, I wanted to find a meaningful gift for my husband.
Since Ryan died, we have spent a lot of time sitting in our gazebo, listening to the wind chimes and thinking about our boy.
We watch the chickens play in the sprinkler, talk to the dogs, and hold hands. It has become our place to remember Ryan, and to be together.
Oh, and drink some wine, too.
So when it came to picking out a gift, I figured that a matching set of cozy rockers to sit in together would be ideal. I searched online for something just right and wasn’t having the best of luck. Then, I saw this set (on clearance, too) at TJMax and knew they were just what I had been looking for.
When we remodeled Ryan’s apartment for his 40th birthday, he chose everything in the rooms, and had gone with a lot of grays in a kind of modern, farmhouse style (he watched a lot of TV decorating shows for ideas).
These rocking chairs would look equally good with Ryan’s color scheme as they do in our garden.
I think he would approve of them.
Once I set them in the spot, I realized that rocks aren’t great for rockers… so I went back online and found a matching, outdoor rug. From Walmart, and it seems to be of a nice quality and looks pretty good there.
It is a peaceful place that has become very special to us. I can see us sitting there together, holding hands and reminiscing throughout our next 35 years with each other.
Stitching my world back together
Corona virus, flowers, Ryan, sewing?
The day Ryan died, I was in the middle of making this flower I had crafted to stitch together a hole in a favorite shirt.
I was waiting for him to come downstairs for our planned walk. As I worked on the shirt, I texted him a couple of times to ask if he was okay, since he was running so late.
After the shock of finding his body, and dealing with the dozens of emergency personnel that go along with a tragedy like that, I found myself back at the table, numbly stitching away on this flannel.
Over the next few weeks, while I still could not bear to speak to many people, and my chest twisted up into shards of pain with every breath I took, I found myself still stitching.
The creations were an outlet for me, my mind could wander with memories of my boy, as my hands stayed busy. 
I have never been into sewing, but embroidery seems different. I call it “painting with thread”. After surgery, early in March, while Covid was amping up, I could be creative while elevating and icing my knee. 
So luckily, I was already immersed in the hobby and had a selection of supplies out, when I really needed them. 
Having these shirts to keep me occupied, didn’t take my mind off of Ryan, but sewing them did give me quiet time to think about him and I could feel myself being stitched back together a tiny bit with each flower.
I can’t say that embroidery has brought me peace, because I feel like breathing will always be painful now.
But I think it has helped me along towards peacefulness by the repetitive and simple process of pulling the needle in and out of the fabric and by choosing pretty colors to put together.
Ideally, it is best to be working on these flowers while listening to wind chimes in the gazebo. And after a long walk on the trails Ryan and I had walked together on over and over.
The walks can be tough, each step reminds me of a laugh or something he said as we passed in that exact spot. I have learned to never go on a walk without wearing pants with pockets and filling those pockets with tissues.
And to never waste tissues on tears. Tears can drop on my feet, or on the sidewalk, but snot really shouldn’t. And I am a snotty cryer.
I save the tissues for nose blowing and let the tears go wherever they want.
Maybe I will be able to do some artwork in the studio soon. I have cleaned it top to bottom and rearranged it a bit too. I am easing myself back into my old life, making myself ready to be artistic again.
For now, I’ll keep stitching, and trying to hold myself together as much as I can.
May baskets, that may be a bit late
Corona virus, flowers, how to's, vintage paper/collage art 
It might be closer to June than May, but little peat pot baskets are nice any time of year, right?
I didn’t get them delivered by May Day either.
My buddies and I met up for a socially distant walk on a trail, and I brought each a baggie of home made body scrub/bath salts (it can be used either way). I made it with Epsom salts, sugar, coconut oil, and a drop or two essential oil for scent. No measuring, I simply stir with my hands til it feels good, then try it out in the sink to see if it needs a little more of something or another.
The peat pots have pipe cleaner handles inserted into a hole punched on each side of the pot with the ends twisted into place. Flowers were twisted onto the wires.
I glued a bit of ephemera to the front each pot. Then crumpled up some dyed coffee filters and used those as a liner for the bags of salts.
Don’t the filters look like roses blooming in the pots? And, seriously, it is simply three coffee filters rumpled and stuffed into a peat pot. The prettiness just happens on its own, no skill needed.
I keep dyed filters on hand because of their many uses. And the fact that they come in packs of 100, so when I dye them, I do a lot! I have used Rit dye, Fiber reactive dye, watercolor, or just plain old food coloring, whatever is handy. I dip them in and hang them to dry, then stack them up and store in the studio. I love to have different colors on hand to ruffle up and use in craft projects or like this, to line gift packages, instead of tissue paper.
Birthday Party Decor Without a Trip to the Store
celebrations, Corona virus, cottage, family, flowers, Food and Drink, Sugarwings, We're having a party
There are many things that social distancing has made more complicated. And hosting a birthday party was one of them. Sugarwings spends time between our household and her mom’s, so our two groups have been able to mingle, but sadly, we could not have other family members over to celebrate with us.
We also couldn’t pop into a store for last minute items, like the balloons that Sugarwings wanted for the table. She loves planning our family parties, and is the one who set this up.
We did have one last package of water balloons leftover from last summer, the kind that come in a big bunch, that you hook up directly to a faucet to fill up.
She could have taken each off its stem and blown it up, but we decided balloons filled with water could be extra fun. We floated them in clear glass bowls and used them as a centerpiece.
There were some banner pieces packed away, but not anything personal, so the Grand Fairy printed some dragons to hang onto the banners. And we agreed that the colorful dragons tied in the color of the balloons to the banners.
But the best part of the meal was the dolce de leche cheesecake that our Hippy Chick spent all afternoon working on. She came over to our house to bake it, and that added to the festive feel of putting a party together.
We missed the rest of our big family, but know that staying away, and staying healthy now means we will be celebrating with them later when all of this ends.
A Decorated Loaf of Flatbread
Corona virus, family, flowers, Food and Drink
Lately, I have been seeing some lovely loaves online and thought I would give it a try myself.
I made a batch of dough, same way I usually do, then pressed half of it flat onto a cookie sheet.
I used basil, rosemary, and thyme for the stems and leaves. Grape tomatoes, zucchini, and slices of peppers were the flowers.After putting it together, I thought it needed more, and added slices of black olives to the center of the zucchini flowers.
I probably should have taken more time to cut the peppers into better petal shapes, but these were fine, if not exactly right.
It got sprayed it with olive oil cooking spray, sprinkled Italian seasoning over that, and let it rise before baking.
The bread baked up nicely, and we sliced it with a pizza cutter. The full branches of thyme made nice stems, but were a bit much. Although easily picked off before eating. The sticks came away, with the leaves still mostly on the dough.
Sugarwings wasn’t a fan of most of the toppings. She turned the other half of the loaf into twisted breadsticks and a single piece of flatbread with just basil, which she does like.
It turned out better than our Easter Bunny Bread, which was cute as a dough rabbit. (Before rising)
After it rose, it looked like Burl Ives in Rudolf.
After baking, he looked like Burl had been beaten up.
I might stick to floral scenes….
My Favorite Tree
flowers
When I planted this tree as a little baby, I had no idea it was two trees in one.
Half pink, half white in the spring, and in the fall, it produces two tones of berries. The leaves are even different shades of green.
At this point, I can’t remember if I thought I was buying white or pink. But I am happy to get a bonus color that I didn’t expect.
A springtime walk with a surprise heart
Corona virus, cottage, flowers
Ryan and I walk along this pond as often as we can. For the first time, we noticed that the fountain forms a heart shaped splatter. Is it new, or had we never paid attention?
It isn’t from the wind, as I first thought, because it has been like this all week.
Our property has a couple of fields that border I70. My husband keeps bees out there, and while walking up the hill to walk across the bridge, we had a nice view of his set up through the blooming redbuds.
He has a chair nearby and likes to spend time watching them at work.
Only one chair, I’m afraid that I am not a bee watcher.
This view was less pleasant.
We reached the top of the overpass bridge, and were disturbed by the lack of traffic. It was a reminder that our country is not itself right now.
Strangely quiet.
My walk was emotionally charged, with a flow of feelings from the sad reminder of the empty roads to the hopeful heart in the pond.
Of course, these days, our emotions are on high alert. I am trying to stay balanced, while acknowledging the difficulties and fears, still enjoying all of the happy moments of hope that I find.
January Decorating
cottage, dogs, flowers 
After all of the glorious, gaudiness of the Christmas decor at my house, I kind of like my Januaries to be low key. It is a good time to dust, and shuffle things around, and to leave some things simply put away, not even used.
And to add some natural elements to remind me that spring and growing things will have to return someday, and that winter won't last forever.
Even if the icy cold feels like it is a life sentence…
Last fall, I bought some succulents at a garden center clearance for 99 cents a pot. After stashing them in my husband's office for the holidays, I was happy to see the cheerful greenery and bring it back into the house to brighten up a cold winter day.
This is where we spend way too much time since my husband retired and it has gotten so cold out. He builds a fire, we pile dogs on our laps and drink coffee every morning in front of the fire before we get on with our days.
Part of my move for simplicity, is leaving this table bare and functional for books and newspapers.
The mantle is kinda halfway simple, well for me at least. It seems full, but usually is has a lot more going on. I leave the angel wings up through Valentine's Day and keep the colors mostly muted. But I did add one little, oval painting that reminds me that springtime is real, and that I will get through this freezing season.
Winter is just not my deal. I make up all sorts of excuses to not leave the house and keep errands to a minimum. Now that I have a house husband, it is even more tempting to sit by a fire and ignore the rest of the world. I might even be growing to like winter.
Well, maybe just this cozy aspect of winter. Not the howling Kansas winds and ice. I will never, ever be able to enjoy that.
Hope you are staying warm and coping too!