paintings

While my sister was ill, I spent as much time by her side as I could each day.  I tried to balance wanting to never leave her with respecting her immediate family’s needs to be with their mom.  So, I’d arrive in the morning, set my painting supplies up by her, find some of her favorite movies to watch, then just hang out together until her kids arrived.  Some nights we gathered with other family too, but if it was just her girls there, I’d leave so they had private time.  

I’d help with meds, drinks, shampooing, etc if needed, but mostly we were just together.  Each day Bobbie slept a little more than the day before, but I’d always tell her not to stay awake for me.  Rest and be strong to see her daughters and those grandkids at night.

When she was gone, I felt rudderless.  I couldn’t be with Bobbie.

How on earth was I going to fill my days?

The world just keeps turning.  And we do fill our days.  Sissy and I went with her daughters for a day out to see a shark movie Bobbie would’ve loved.  We all had craft days together making Bobbie’s favorite bracelets.

We spent time with family.

One afternoon, I painted this chair for Sissy.  She loves the designer, Gudrun Sjodren, and wanted this done in her style.  It was an excellent distraction. Painting chairs is good busywork, with all the spindles that are tedious, but also give your mind a chance to wander.  Then practicing a style that I am not used to kept me focused. It was a project that let me both reminisce yet move forward.

For me, keeping busy, staying creative is helpful.  After I lost Ryan, I filled my closet with hand embroidered shirts and worked in the garden until it was a mass of blooms.  Each activity of creating doesn’t exactly heal, but maybe gives me hope? And a sense on continuing.  

While my sister was ill, I wanted to be with her as much as I could.

Living in Kansas made that hard to do.  But my sweet husband covered the home base while I was away.  Even through a tiny dog’s lingering illness, multiple emergency vet trips, then nursing Sugarwings through a round of Covid before catching it himself.

I made as many trips to Indiana as I could, just to sit by Bobbie’s side and be there if she needed me.  

My Good Juju buddies covered for me during February’s first Friday weekend since I was in Pendleton with family.

My other sister took me in as a semi permanent houseguest and we had a lovely time spending evenings together eating dinner in front of the tv while watching horror movies and then playing with piles of beads and making jewelry.  She made tasty meals for us and we worried about Bobbie together.

Each morning, I’d gather up my lamp, folding table and supplies to take to Bobbie’s house and set up a work station near her.

At first she would sleep most of the morning, then welcome the endless parade of people who loved her and wanted to visit in the afternoons and evenings.

As days passed, she’d sleep more but was always so happy to see the many people who wanted to spend time with her.

Bobbie was one of those special beings who just made you feel good to be around.

And she’d always been there for everyone else.  So they wanted to be there for her.

You could tell how beloved she was by the driveway full of vehicles, tables full of flowers, phone calls and FaceTimes, meals dropped off, and packages from a lifetime of friends and family who needed to be near.

At first, I was painting these quick, little nature studies to fill my booth and also keep myself grounded.  Then I started sharing them with visitors and family as they came to see my sister.

I enjoyed gifting them as mementos and must’ve given away dozens.

They are sketched onto old book pages with a sharpie, then roughly colored in with water solvable markers, washed with clear water on a brush.

After they dry, I touch up the lines with the sharpie again and add highlights with a white pen.

The backgrounds of some are iridescent watercolor that Bobbie gave to me.

Every little sketch I gave away was an appreciation to everyone who showed love to my sister, helped her or her family,  fed us, and wanted to be near.   Thank you, to you all for your kindnesses to the Valentines.