paintings – Page 4 – Karla's Cottage

Pictures from the past

By Karla Nathan / May 18, 2021

The other day, I had an idea for a thank you card, but needed a photo I remembered being in an album. I thought I’d search through the books to find it to use. While doing that, I came across some other pictures I thought I’d share.

There are multiple scrapbooks of my previous work.

I used to do a lot of murals, and tried to keep a record of them all.

It had been a long time since I’d looked through these and it took a while to even find the books. I finally remembered tucking them into a hidey hole cabinet in the guest room wall.

Flipping through page after page, I was impressed by my prolific production!

Here are a few pictures that I took of the photos in the album.

I wish I’d had a good camera back when I took the originals, but I am glad that I have the photos that I do and that I took time to create an album to have now.

Some, I barely remember. I had to think about this one, then recalled it was a basement laundry room in a KU apartment building.

And this was at a snack bar in Florida by a tennis court. I had some fun jobs! And was lucky that the people who hired me let me come up with my own design and trusted my ideas.

I also had a job painting a chain of daycare centers across the Midwest. I used to do four to five rooms in one day. Each room had its own theme and no two ever came out the same even though I repeated the themes a dozen times.

The daycare murals were done lightening fast because I was on a tight schedule, and not paid much per painting. They aren’t as detailed as some of the other work, but were quick, colorful, and fun.

The book had some watercolors in it that I’d forgotten about too. I’ll, show some of those next time.

(By the way, I still can’t find the photo that started the search!)

The importance of finding time to create and just enjoy yourself

Corona virus, dogs, Goldendoodle Puppies, paintings

By Karla Nathan / May 12, 2021

Sugar’s puppies have been so easy to are for, that apart from keeping Shuggie fed and getting some cuddle time with the babies, I have been pretty much free.

They don’t keep me up at night, she keeps them perfectly cared for.

There has even been time to get the baby books done and completely updated. One litter at a time, is certainly the way to go! I was frazzled and exhausted last fall with two at once.

Plus, Honey tends to lay on or step on her babies and I was constantly responding to terrified squeaks from puppies in danger. Sugar is very gentle and these little sweeties have been a pure joy to have around.

In addition to the last round of pups needing more care, it was in the middle of a major puppy shortage and I was getting dozens of applications for a baby every day. I was overwhelmed and not ready for such a huge response.

That made me decide to slow things down with these guys. I haven’t actively marketed them yet. I wanted a week of enjoying them as newborns and learning to tell them apart from each other before FaceTiming so many people a day, it is nice just to be with them, not try to sell them.

It has been an ideal interlude, a time to relax and just be happy to have these new, little lives to love.

And I have had time to host some paint pour parties. The paintings above are all done by the participants.

This is one of mine.

So is this one. Acrylic pouring is such a relaxing craft.

Typically, when I paint, I get too detailed, like in the rose behind these landscapes. I decided to try pours to loosen up and get more abstract. It’s not only been good for my style, it has been good for my soul.

Following the paint as it swirls and glides around the canvas can be rewarding and zen like.

Watching family and friends create is every bit as refreshing as doing it myself. I love sharing the technique and watching their colors slide around to form arty creations. Fin and I did this one together.

My friend, Shanna did these two.

Friends are coming by today to see the pups and have a craft date. Soon the puppies will become more demanding, I’ll be training and caring for them more each day. I’ll be finding their new homes, interviewing families too. And I love doing that.

But this last week, when they are all still just mine, not anyone else’s? It has been just what I needed. And thank you to everyone who came for a craft day or to paint with me in the last couple of weeks, I sure have enjoyed it.

Honoring my grief

Corona virus, paintings, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / April 23, 2021

I have had a rough few weeks emotionally. It started with thinking I’d lost a bag of Ryan’s ashes that I wanted to spread in Indiana while stopping there. Luckily, I found them (put away safely, that is always a mistake, isn’t it?) Then on our visit to my hometown, no one there mentioned Ryan, so it didn’t feel right to bring up sprinkling ashes.

We didn’t have a funeral for Ryan due to quarantine. At the time, I was too wrecked to care, and was almost glad that I didn’t have to deal with it. But over the last year, I have begun to feel as if Ryan was cheated out of something he deserved. He spent his life quietly in the background without many people knowing just what a great guy he was. Was not having a ceremony another instance of Ryan fading into the background? And is it too late now to have one?

Part of Rich’s family had a small ceremony at the Lake House last summer, and I treasure the wind chimes we made together as each person had something to say about Ry and clipped their piece of the chime together. It was lovely, and so thoughtful of them. I didn’t realize how much we had needed that at the time.

Thinking that I’d misplaced the ash made me remember every single bad mom incident throughout my boys’ childhood.

Then, I was overwhelmed by having a shivery cold snap hit us after three weeks of camping and needing to winterize the camper to prevent frozen pipes (while still traveling with it). We had to scramble to find alternate lodgings and between Easter weekend and spring break, plus traveling with three dogs, there just weren’t any to be found.

Seriously, it wasn’t a big problem, and it got solved, but I was irrationally upset about it, beyond the scope of the actual problem itself. Since then, my attitude had been getting worse, and my sadness was building too.

The anniversary of Ryan’s death looming over me has been almost more than I could handle and I let other stressors feed on that pain.

This might sound silly, but watching the season finale of the Walking Dead without him and knowing the series was ending soon, about wrecked me. A new season of Top Chef starting, without RyGuy next to me to watch it was rough too. The shows we watched together were important to us. We’d pick apart details of the programs on our walks and talk about what we thought should happen next, who should be eaten by a zombie or pack their knives and go.

Thinking of the soon to be born litter of pups coming without Ryan by my side had been causing me torment instead of the joy I should have anticipating all those sweet babies due soon, too. It was beginning to feel like everything was a reminder of how sad I was.

Everyone needs time to grieve and to acknowledge those raw emotions. But letting them take over was not healthy, and I needed to get control of my world again.

I will always miss my boy, nothing will change that. Living with grief will be something I cannot change. But dealing with grief and loss by appreciating what I have is something I can do. Letting my raw nerves run my life certainly wasn’t helpful.

So I took action.

I had a sincere talk about issues that had come up with someone I cared about, who also had major worries of her own.

I wrote a long, long letter to Ryan. For months after he died, I filled his urn with notes and messages, but had gotten away from “talking” to him that way. I gave myself a full day of just missing him, looking through the journal I’d made for him, (hugging it tightly against me and sobbing), watching shows he loved, writing to him and going for a walk like we used to together. Instead of letting that underlying unhappiness brew inside me and make me antsy and sad, I let it rise to the top of my emotions and didn’t try to hide it or pretend I was fine.

I painted. And painted. Pour paints are sooooo soothing. Watching those colors glide and swirl is good for the soul.

I made plans with friends and family. I’m sharing a paint pour day with friends, having a craft day, and having a family dinner night with my fairy flock.

Most of all, I honored Ryan by just missing him. And missing him a lot. We both loved springtime, but he isn’t here to enjoy it, I’ll need to show my appreciation for the season enough for both of us.

My husband took a trip to Omaha to watch his nephew compete in jr college wrestling nationals, and I used that time to organize the studio and garage, gather supplies, mix up paints, and then dove deeply into swirling those colors around on a few canvases.

Acrylic paint pouring is an expensive hobby, but such a relaxing one. I look forward to having a couple play dates with family and with friends. It will be just as mesmerizing to watch them tilt and twirl the paint around. I find the process healing.

Grief will never leave. But how I choose to have it in my life is up to me.

Leota

paintings

By Karla Nathan / October 28, 2020

I never met Leota. Over the years, I’d heard nothing but glowing stories about her. She was a dedicated mother and foster mom who loved her family. When she passed, I wanted to do this watercolor sketch of her.

So many people reached out to me when I lost Ryan, and it meant the world to me. Every single comment, gift, call, or prayer filled my heart. I want to be a better friend to others when they feel a loss.

Watercolor Pup

dogs, paintings

By Karla Nathan / October 23, 2020

Earlier, I showed a snippet of the beginnings of a painting. It was a commission for someone’s birthday gift, so I wanted to wait to show the rest after the birthday girl opened her gift.

Funny, my life has been all dogs, all the time lately. Then I get a job, and it is to paint a dog!

Seem fitting.

Puppy time and me time

Corona virus, dogs, drawing, Goldendoodle Puppies, paintings, Ryan

By Karla Nathan / October 4, 2020

My husband took a little trip this week, and I had pretty laid time. My watercolors are spread out in the dining room, so I can paint and be near the puppies.

They have kept me company while Rich was away.

Here is a snippet of the painting. I always start with the eyes. I’ll show the finished piece once the recipient gets to see it.

Besides painting, going for walks, playing with puppies, and battling an epic ant invasion, I’ve slowly started to work on getting the babies to intermingle.

It starts with a few play dates, then moves on to mixed cuddle puddles.

Although the play dates aren’t much more than naps yet, anyway.

The Sugarbabies have moved into the main part of our home along with the Butterballs. Sugar is much more possessive of hers than Honey is, so we are taking this slow, with supervised visitations. If I am not with them, Shuggie and the little ones go back to the bathroom nest.

Eventually, they will all be too big (and stinky, and I have to admit, they are edging up on that stinky part pretty fast) to be kept in here.
I have a nursery set up in the garage where they will be at night, then they will have the breezeway to hang out in on nice days with access to the yard.

Most of my time with Rich away on his trip, I had Sugarwings here with me. But I had one day, all to myself for the first time in months. I missed Rich, since his retirement, and especially since Covid, we have spent all of our days together.

But since Ryan died, I kept thinking I needed a day to just think of him, to be on my own, to not have any “have to’s”. Life is hectic and as people always say- it goes on.

I have been grieving, I have been sad, I have had him on my mind every single minute. There has been a Ryan sized hole in my life, but I haven’t had time just to let that happen. I’ve kept going.

Yesterday, I had my months delayed day. I spent most of it doing things Ryan and I used to do together. I walked with the dogs, played with puppies, and then took more walks. I cleaned the stove top with a razor blade (that was one of his things, he took pride in a job well done, no matter how tedious, he worked with a good attitude and got things done.)

I made a frozen pizza the way Ryan used to make them for me, extra cheese, chopped veggies, black olives, rosemary, and turkey pepperoni. Then, I binge watched one of our favorite shows. I missed his laughs, and our constant conversation commenting on what was happening on the screen, but I enjoyed my day.

I enjoyed thinking about how much fun we used to have together. I thought about the joy he was always able to express about the little things that made him happy. Like a brand new season of a good Netflix show. Pizza night. A walk. A shiny stovetop. Laughing about something silly a dog just did.

Ryan faced difficulties in his life, surviving bullying over his disabilities that left him distrusting people’s intentions toward him. He overcame addictions. He had been taken advantage of. He had suffered in his life. All of this left him with insecurities. But he also found a quiet happiness and satisfaction in hard work and small pleasures. He was a person who appreciated the moment when good things happened.

My day “with Ryan” was appreciated.

It was worth waiting for.

Ryan’s digital portrait and a thank you

Corona virus, family, paintings

By Karla Nathan / June 5, 2020

I did a digital sketch on my iPad while missing my boy.

It is preliminary, in planning a larger, acrylic paininting that I can frame.

Every heartfelt message that was left on my posts about Ryan is appreciated, thank you. I have read them numerous times and am slowly, a few at a time, trying to acknowledge each one on FB, IG and my blog. Over the years, I have been lucky to get to know so many online friends, some I have met in person, others just through typed words. Social media has been a great way to meet friends and now it is a comfort to hear from them as well as from family, past co-workers, and long time friends who are all far away. So many have reached out to me with kindness, and I appreciate the sincere caring that went into the comments. Some make me cry, some make me smile, others touch me with a shared grief. All are meaningful to me. Thank you.

A Digitally Painted Mermaid, before and after getting a stylus for detail

fairies, paintings

By Karla Nathan / May 18, 2020

There is a painting app, called Hello Watercolor, that I have enjoyed using on my iPad. There are several brushes, pencils, erasers, and pencils that have a real life effect.

But, my old iPad wasn’t compatible with a stylus, and the entire picture had to be done with my finger. It could get frustrating with the details.

I recently bought myself a brand new iPad, that is a huge improvement over my old one. And my sis, Terry, gifted me with a stylus!

This is how the mermaid looked with just finger painting.

And here she is using a stylus. The extra detail that I can get makes me happy!

90% of the painting is still done with my finger, but that pen makes all of the difference when I got to the pupils and eyelashes.

Thanks, Terry!

Thank you to all of the essential workers who take care of business, so old ladies with asthma, like me, can stay home!

Corona virus, fairies, paintings

By Karla Nathan / April 20, 2020

Nurses and other essential workers are putting themselves in danger for us and sometimes, the risk is too big.

My good friend, and sister-in-law is one of the many whose selfless hard work and service caused her to become ill. She is far away, and I didn’t feel as if there was anything I could do to help. So, I did this digital painting for her, and kept good thoughts vibing her way as I worked on it.

“Thoughts and Prayers” Has almost become a cliche in today’s world. But when heartfelt, the term is very real. I am focusing on sending mine to Sharon.

A Stop Along The Way

dogs, family, paintings, Travel

By Karla Nathan / March 9, 2020

On our long, long drive to Florida, we made a side trip to Helen, GA. We had family to visit, and were excited to see them, not even knowing what a gorgeous, little tourist town they lived in.

We had unpleasant weather, not the best to be pulling a camper along twisty, mountain curves. But the scenery was still spectacular, if spooky.

Being in a truck with three freshly bathed dogs on a long trip, started out as an adventure.

The rain soon turned it into a wet, muddy mess.

Luckily, our family was made up of understanding, dog people. It all worked out.My SIL, Sharon keeps a mop handy for their big dogs too.

She and I got out to explore the town a shop a little.

The town is on a river in the mountains, and I hope to return in nicer weather for some hiking and floating.

On this visit, we stuck to indoor activities, and I found these fantastic, vintage beaded pieces at the local antique mall.

Most of the trip was spent catching up and chatting in their new, hillside cottage. I was touched to see a plethora of things I’d made over the years.
Like this kitchen island.