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While autumn isn’t exactly my favorite season, and I don’t do much in the way of decor, mostly just thinking of it as a countdown to Christmas splendor, I do slightly get into the tones of fall.

We were away in Florida for much of October, so I didn’t get to make Jack-o-lanterns and missed visiting the pumpkin patch, so my yard was gourd-less this year.

While planning a small bonfire gathering with friends, I thought I’d pick up a few mums to replace my dying summer blooms and brighten the place up. Instead, I saw a bin of pumpkins marked down to a quarter each!  I bought  all but the smooshiest of them and filled pots and tables with those in place of chrysanthemums.  Along with a few strands of lights and a couple of trimmed oak branches, the empty pots started to look festive on a pretty much non-existing budget.  

Christmas decorating is coming on quick for me, this is just a little side trip, so I was glad to not spend too much on it.  

It ends up being pretty cheap hen feed too.  Once I’m done with all of the pumpkins, I’ll be tossing them over the fence to the ladies.  

Win Win!

 

 

 

 

 

Terry and I have had a magical time at Disney World. She indulged my obsession to hunt Mickies too.

(Canada, Epcot)

Some are sneaky.

(Ratatouille, Epcot)

Like this one, very well hidden!

(Frozen, Epcot)

Others are pretty easy to spot. (Ariel, Hollywood Studio)

And some cannot be missed, like this coil of rope.

 (Living with the Land, Epcot)

My little eye spied a lot on that ride, but I didn’t get photos of them all  or on the Nemo ride, it was too dark.

This Mickey is hard to see, but it is lurking there in the deep shadow at Turtle Talk.

And while walking over a bridge at Epcot, I saw this rocky Mickey.

They can often be in signs.

(Figment, Epcot)

I can’t remember where this one is from.  But somewhere in Hollywood studios, maybe?

Instead of a mouse, these are hidden rats, in the wallpaper of the new Ratatouille ride.  Being a new and popular experience, it is very hard to get onto, but we set our alarm to be ready to hit the button to try to get in the virtual queue early in the morning and it paid off.  Six hours later, it was our turn to show up to get in the physical line for 45 minutes till it was time for us to spin around with a kitchen full of rats.  It was a clever ride, but even with ginger tablets, I was kind of dizzy and couldn’t wear the 3D glasses.  

I have seen these leafy Mickies a few times, but didn’t know where they came from.  Today we passed by just as the person sweeping the park finished making it.

Another fun peek a boo, is to look for Cinderella’s horse on the carousel at Magic Kingdom.  It the the one with the golden ribbon around its tail.  There is another horse with spots that form a Mickey, too.

To celebrate the 50 year anniversary, there are 50 golden statues throughout the four parks.  We made a game of finding them all, and doing some of their poses.

I didn’t do a great job of it, but at least I didn’t topple over.  That’s a plus, right?

And some poses were easier than others.

The statues will be there for 18 months, and you can get hints online about where to find them.  Most are pretty easy to see in main flower beds, but a few are in obscure locations, on balconies, poles, or signs.  

And the Mickies are everywhere.  Every time I go, I find more.  This one is on the Jungle Cruise dock.

If you find any good ones, let me know!

 

 

At the end of August, I was ready for a new mantel look, but not ready to embrace fall, pumpkins, or Halloween.

I kept it flowery like my garden outside. In the yard, the rose bushes are looking their best, and I am really enjoying those blooms. 

This look might be verging on too springlike, but I’m okay with it.

UPDATE:

After creating this landscape, I decided to add it to the mantel in place of the smaller, unframed one.  

 

 

 

Rich and I went to visit friends in Nebraska and decided to take a detour through Sioux City on the way home.  

While it wasn’t exactly on the way (we had to go north an hour before going back south to KS), it was nice to have the freedom to meander about and take the time to explore the city where we met.

And to drive by my mom’s old house, where I raised my boys through their preschool years.  Way, way before we lived there, it was the home of Ann Landers and Dear Abby as children.  Maybe the aura of of their advice giving habits lingered in the air, and that is why I tend to be so bossy like to help people know what is the best thing to do.

We visited some of Rich’s college days’ haunts, had a loose meat type, Charlie Boy sammy, and mostly drove around murmuring about how much things had changed, stayed the same, or wondered if we were going the right way, is this the place, or is that it?  

Typical old folk talk when revisiting the past locales of their youth.

The day’s drive was a nostalgic continuation of our visit to see our friends, Rich’s college buddies.

We’d sat on the porch of their beautiful lake home and drank wine while reminiscing  for hours.

Being with these good friends felt like we were right back where we were decades ago.  Although, our surroundings were no where near this nice way back when!

 And who knew that there were glorious, natural sand beaches right outside of Omaha?!?

The lakes are dredged from the Platte River, which apparently is sandy bottomed.  

It makes for clear, clean water and beaches you’d expect to see on a tropical Island, not in Nebraska.  I think that this area has to be one of the Midwest’s biggest secrets.  

We had a quick trip, just one night, but we sure packed a lot into it.  I felt like I’d been on a trip to an exotic beach as well as down memory lane, all in a little over 24 hours.

Ryan always cared about Mother’s Day.  He was so proud of whatever gift he chose, and I knew that thought had gone into it.  He made me feel very special when he grinned and handed me a dozen roses, a bag of candles, or a pot of flowers he would plant for me.

And most of all, the wind chimes he splurged on last year.  He was about to burst when he gave them to me.  It was pretty cute.

I have dried some of the hydrangeas he helped me plant, along side this bouquet that came when he died.  

A ruby toned rose bush and a patch of pink and purple iris from him are in bloom now.  I’ll pick a few blossoms, and sit by the wind chimes while drinking a Coke Zero on the holiday this year.

Coke Zero was our guilty pleasure  we both tried to stop the habit, sometimes with more success than others, but always went back to it.  We’d tell each other we were giving it up, then joke that there were worse habits, and decide to enjoy our nightly coke together.

Ryan had been through addictions in his life.  He gave up junk food and kept 100lbs off for way over a decade.  He went through rehab for morphine addiction.  After that we built my studio with an apartment above it, so he could always have a safe place to live and be close to us while still having his privacy.

So a few bottles of pop didn’t seem too bad.  He was secure enough in his recovery that we could joke about his past, and laugh together over our soda habit.

Every night when he got off of work, he’d stop by the garage fridge and bring us each a cold coke.  The night he died, we both just so happened to go out to the garage at the same time before bed to sneak a second bottle.

There was one cold drink left, and he insisted it was for me.  And we shared a hug, the first one we’d had since covid quarantine began, because he worked in a nursing home and wanted to protect the residents.

My final moments with my boy were with him giving me the last bottle of Coke Zero, getting a big hug, and him telling me he loved me.

How lucky was I!? We could have easily missed each other if one of us had happened to check the fridge a few seconds earlier or later.

Years ago, Coke had a campaign where they had names on the labels.  He and I made a contest out of collecting as many family names as we could.  We had a Ryan(!), Nathan, Randy, Martha (my mom), Rich, and Adam.   We didn’t save them, but had fun showing each other our finds.

I was at Target about Valentine’s Day and saw a few bottles in the cooler with names on them.  It looked to me like it had been a Christmas promotion, and I was just seeing the tail end of it.

I sat down, right there in the line and pulled every single bottle out, looking for his name with no luck.  So I went from cooler to cooler at the checkout lanes, searching desperately for one, while tears leaked down my face.  (I’m sure employees thought I should be stopped because I was sitting on the checkout lane floor, but one look at my desperation stopped them.)

After that, I frantically looked through the checkout lanes of every store in the area. And look what I finally found, one that says, “My Son”.  It’s been on the mantel since, but most likely, I’ll take the label off and add that to the book I made for Ry. People have almost tossed the bottle into the recycling, thinking it was an empty that I accidentally left out, so tucked away carefully in the photo album with my memories is probably a safer place for a treasure like this.

Our home is filled with the happy squeaks of newborn puppies, flowers are blooming outdoors, I have been getting together with friends for craft dates and fun, many have had the vaccine and fears are easing around here.  Life goes on, and is filled with all sorts of little treasures.

Hopefully we have all learned to cherish what we have after losing so much to Covid.  My heart goes out to those who have lost their physical or mental health, their jobs, their peace of mind.

Their loved one.

Tragedy can make you stronger but still crush you at the same time, we go on but we are never quite the same.  All I can do is love what I have, memories included.

ps- I did put the Coke Zeros back in the coolers!

We took our camper on a trip to Wyoming and while there with family members, we were able to have another small memorial for Ryan.

It was similar to the one at our home, where a few of us sprinkled ash on the Uncle Tree planted for him.

This time, each person added a chain to a wind chime when they told a story or memory they had of Ry.

My SIL, Terry, prepared family photos to add along with chains, bells, stones, and charms.

She set the supplies out, and family members gathered around the craft table to make a length of chain and charms with a tinkling bell at the end.

The wooden parts were hand crafted by Terry’s husband, Dale.

Sugarwings picked a blue chain to use, because of course, a Favorite Color is a major consideration for her.  When she moved on from pink to aqua as a new beloved color, it was a major announcement and life style change.  

I listen to her  discussing Favorite Colors with others and it is almost as if they are talking about something that defines them, not just a preference for a shade.

After raising rowdy boys, this fascination with Favorite Colors amongst the grand fairies was  a change.  Maybe I just never ease-dropped on or appreciated the conversations my two sons had the way I do with these girls (who by the way, are also very rowdy).

After losing Ryan, I have given a lot of thought to how I raised him and his brother way back when, and how different I am with the new sibling duo now.

There are regrets.
Lots of regrets.

Many mistakes were made my first time around the block.

When Ryan came along, I was 19, and he was a baby who needed more than I could offer.

We were far from family or help, he didn’t sleep more than an hour and a half, which meant that I didn’t either. (For months and months).

I lived in poverty, and didn’t even have a phone to call family for advice.  It was a 45 minute drive to a pay phone, and sometimes Ryan and I would be alone with no transportation for weeks at a time.

 Looking back, I am sure that I had postpartum depression, but that wasn’t something mothers were screened for much  in those days.

I have always said, “Ryan wasn’t an easy baby.” He cried nonstop, and so did I.

Now, I can see that his problems started with me, not with him and it wasn’t fair to put the blame on a baby.  My inability to care for him was why he was so unhappy.  If I’d had just a little help, someone to hold him and comfort him while I napped, could I have been able to comfort him myself?  

Sugarwings and Dewdrop haven’t always been “easy” themselves (what kid is?).  But my attitude and mental health have been different with them. I wish I could have given Ryan what I gave to them.  He deserved more.

All of my kids have some form of sensory or learning disorder and I never thought I was up to any of it.

I felt like my boys deserved someone better, stronger, more knowledgeable, than me to get them through it.  It wasn’t until I had grand fairies that I felt like I was doing something right.  Maybe the boys helped me work through all of the insufficiencies that I had in raising them.

Ryan and Adam-I am sorry that I was not the mother I should have been for you.  But thank you for the lessons you taught me.  Thank you for helping me become a better grammie. Because you suffered through my insecurities and my impatience, I know how to be patient now.

Ryan grew up to be a remarkable man.  I wonder what he could have become if he’d had a mom who was prepared for a child with difficulties and in a better financial and emotional state when he was born?

Hopefully, I made his rough start up to him later on.  He had a generous soul and never showed me anything but an abundance of caring..

I have been so proud of who he became, and love hearing people describe his kindness and gentleness when they speak of him.  The remarks family made while adding a bell to Terry and Dale’s wind chime design were quite moving.

 Losing an adult child is a layered grief.  At first, I mourned the thoughtful man who was my beloved friend and walking companion.

Then, I’d have flashes of him as a child or a teen and a fresh pain would strike me, taking my breath away.  Thinking of him as a newborn rips my heart out.  

I am trying to remember the happy times with him, that cute little face looking up at me with joy. Remembering  each story that was shared as a chain was added to the wind chime. 

And appreciating that knowing him helped me to learn to be better.  

 

 

 

 

After our lesson from Lesa with the magnificent swan, we were ready for something more laid back.  Her class was 4 hours, with a lunch break, and my Angelique the Aviary Queen was a simple task to fill the rest of the day.

Here is one in progress.

The Peeps made some very pretty angels, ready for the holidays.

Sunday was an ornament day. 

We had three, one hour classes.

Lori Oles crafted beauty from pipe cleaners and scraps of fabric. By the way, people raved to me about her clear cut, no nonsense teaching style.

And she is a powerhouse.  That lady pitched in and helped me above and beyond anything I would ever ask of her!  

My 2nd class was an updated take on the old fashioned styrofoam ball ornaments from the 60-70s.

And Beth’s was a needlework ornie.

The three classes were called, Snow Blossom, Snowball, and Snowdrop.

Twinkle joined us for some of the classes, but preferred napping on Susie’s bag to getting any real work done. She spent some time lap hopping too and got plenty of cuddle time.

There were lots of different takes on all of the projects, that is always my favorite part.

I love seeing how each artist makes the project to suit themselves.

We spent the afternoon delving into piles of supplies to foof up what we started on, finish the swan, or craft something one of a kind.

Examples of what could be done with the provided supplies were hung to view, and advice or help was offered.  But mostly people just puttered and played.

For those who wanted more structure, bottle brush tree/tart tin kits were available too.

After seeing all of the lovely ways that the teacher’s kits were made up, I look forward to studio time where I get to create my own versions, they looked fun.

Thanks to my fabulous teachers, Beth Leintz, Lori Oles, Jenn Hayslip, and Lesa Dailey!

And to Guncle Randy along with honorary guncle, Jason, for all of the heavy lifting, laughter, and good food.

Terry deserves a huge thank you for her magical cupcakes, generosity, and kitchen/vendor night help.

My long time friend, Angie, made use of her extensive shopkeeping skills on vendor night too.

And what would Birdsong be without a room full of peeps!?

We had a creative, excited, laughing, talented, friendly flock of no drama buddies grace the studio with their loveliness.

And I appreciated each and every one of them.

 

 

 

 

 

Remember the egg carton swap I was a part of at Once Upon an Easter?  Here is the creation I received from my “secret” partner, Lorraine. 

She said she figured out that I was her intended giftee, and personalized her carton just for me!

Lorraine added elements of the sea, references to cottages, my home in Kansas, and hers by the beach in Long Island.

What a delightful surprise!

 

It has been a while since I have had a vending spot at an art event, and I am very much looking forward to the one at Once Upon An Easter. 

The theme has sent me down a rabbit hole of foofiness!

My workspace is filled with tiny bunnies, baskets, and blossoms. 

And a couple little lambs. 

Each is sprinkled with a touch of glitter and adorned with itsy bitsy flowers. 

I have loved every minute of creating all of these joyful dollops of springtime.

 

This is my first year to attempt succulents. I don't know much about them, but so far they have done well.  There is a chance that some of the plants aren't as winter hardy, as I had hoped they were.  But I'll see what happens next spring.

The planter is an old water heater tank, I think. It came with the farmhouse when we bought it.

The tank is shallow and dries out fast. Over the years, I've tried growing different plants in it, but all have required daily watering.  This season's choice has been much easier to take care of.  It hasn't taken any care at all, actually.

I've added some fairy garden elements, and some tumbled glass as mulch.

There are lots of odds and ends tucked in among the plants. Here is some more glass, these are hand blown orbs that a friend made.

There are a few more fairies, some stone eggs, cool rocks, and sea shells too.

Since rosemary doesn't need much water, I included some of that, because, can you ever have enough rosemary??? We can't. I've been hooked on that for the last few years and add it to a lot of dishes.

My favorite part is the heart blooms on this little guy.  Oh my! I didn't expect that!