A look back, it is good to have a blog to keep as a diary

My oldest son had a birthday this week. I realized that I rarely get photos of him, so when the family took him out to celebrate at his favorite restaurant, I made sure to bring my camera. 

He always chooses this Japanese steak house on his birthday for Sugarwings because he knows she has so much fun there. 

He's a loving uncle, a handsome guy, a hard worker, a sweet man, and I'm proud to have his as a son.

He has a strong work ethic and has been working 2 part time jobs for years, but just recently went full time at one of them.

He goes to the gym almost everyday,  takes care of himself, saved up for and bought his own car, does his own laundry, and is a good cook. 

He lost about 100 pounds and has kept it off for years and years.

Ryan has never had it easy.  He has to try a lot harder than other people, but he never gives up. He has excelled in his life and when I tell people that my son works full time at a convenience store, I say it with a big glob of pride, every bit as much pride as the mother of a gifted student who becomes a rocket scientist would have.

Probably more pride because I know how he has struggled to get so far. 

When customers are rude to him and tell him to hurry, I wonder if they realize how hurtful that is?  That they are being cruel to someone who always tries his hardest and has accomplished more than anyone ever thought he would?

They don't see past the surface.

I think people see his blue eyes, handsome face, and 6 pack abs, and don't even realize that he has learning difficulties.  They might see how shy and quiet he is and not realize that he has a speech problem, they will just think he isn't friendly, or has little to say.  He has also been called stoned or drunk when people hear his speech or see that he is slow at times when trying to do something.

Ryan has been taken advantage of by some bad people in the past. Low lifes who used his sweet nature against him, so now he lives with us, in an apartment we built over my studio.  Its important for him to have his independence, but also to be near family. 

But we are lucky to have him here.  He helps around the kitchen, mows our acreage, carries in groceries, and never, ever leaves a room without saying "I love you".  And that is usually accompanied by me getting a kiss on the top of my head.

Is my family as perfect as it looks on the surface? Oh heavens no.

When you look past the surface you see something better than perfection. 

You can see what caring, love, and strength built by adversity and a determination to make it all work better than it should, can do for a circle of people who need each other in their lives.

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And here is a post from July 2015, when we took the entire family to Florida and Ryan surprised me by saying he would go to Disney too:

 Ry Guy said he wanted to come to the park too. Now, he has been a bit of a recluse for the last 10-15 years.  He doesn't like crowds, and doesn't get out much. He is a big, ole, sweetheart, but has a lot of anxieties.  I was worried about him coming on the trip at all, let alone spend time at the park with the hoards of people. I promised him his very own room, so he could retreat if needed.

And you know what?  He didn't need to hide.   Ryan gets the Happy Camper Award for best vacationer. He was amazing, and I saw a side of him that I didn't know he had.  I could tell that at times, it was not easy for him, but he made himself stick it all out, even when he had the option of going back to the hotel to get away from the heat and the people.

 He stayed with me, knowing I was tired, and hadn't got much rest, and was there for me all day when I needed him. And when hotel rooms needed to be changed around, he stepped up and offered to share. I was proud of my son, and how he left his comfort zone behind when he joined the family on this vacation.