While my friends and I have gotten to be pretty good at meeting up for walks, socially distant porch parties, and other safe activities where we can visit in ventilated places somewhat apart from each other, we haven’t figured out how to do a Mosaic Day together.
We used to gather most Thursdays in Shan’s basement studio, catch up on each other’s happenings, and glue glass bits from the vast bins of colors Shanna had for us to dig through, onto all sorts of items.
Over a year ago, I started this pot, and since I couldn’t make it there every week, or sometimes brought a pressing work project from home instead, it took a long time to progress. But just as I was getting excited about completion, Covid hit and all production halted.
Then recently, my sweet and talented friend offered finish the pot for me and I was thrilled! My design was done, the background and grout were all that was left, and she was going to help with the grout anyway.
Plus, this way, I could call the pot a collaboration with a master stain glass artist!
(See the stunning piece hanging behind her? Also, please notice the beautiful doodle, one of Sugar’s babies, Shan’s home is full of pretty creations.)
How generous of her to do this for me.
When Ryan died, we received a planter jam packed with greenery. It has been a couple of months now, and while I’m slightly sure I could’ve kept them alive as is, I was relieved to have something larger to transplant them into.
While I was at it, I repotted some other plants and spread the arrangement into some extra pots too.
Then, while picking up supplies at Hobby Lobby, I saw these blue coffee pots on clearance and got one to go along with the refreshing of the kitchen I’d started with the new plantings.
Cheerful, right?
And cheery is very much appreciated right now. Missing Ryan is a constant with me, and I know always will be. I write notes to him, talk to him on my walks, sit in the gazebo and listen to his wind chimes. I think of all the boring little details in my life that he would have listened to me telling him about. And how he honestly would be interested in hearing them.
For the first few weeks, it seemed like we had so much going on, kids to entertain and feed, places to go, chores to do, projects to work on. Dinners to cook, shopping to do. I complained to myself that I just wanted to be left alone.
That I wanted to crawl into bed and not get out.
That I wanted to be alone to be sad and not do anything at all.
Looking back, I wonder if I was doing it right all along, by just keeping going. Not just keeping busy, but being active and part of the world around me. Which isn’t easy to do in the Age of Corona. And it isn’t easy to do when I am sad. But for me, it probably was the best thing I could do.
Heart break will always be with me. But it also makes me realize that the good that surrounds me might not always be with with me. I work to treasure my blessings, appreciate what I have, and to keep my home as much of a pretty, and peaceful sanctuary as I can. To reach out to friends and family that I love.
To not curl up in the darkness.
