My oldest son had a birthday this week. I realized that I rarely get photos of him, so when the family took him out to celebrate at his favorite restaurant, I made sure to bring my camera.
He always chooses this Japanese steak house on his birthday for Sugarwings because he knows she has so much fun there.
He's a loving uncle, a handsome guy, a hard worker, a sweet man, and I'm proud to have his as a son.
He has a strong work ethic and has been working 2 part time jobs for years, but just recently went full time at one of them.
He goes to the gym almost everyday, takes care of himself, saved up for and bought his own car, does his own laundry, and is a good cook.
He lost about 100 pounds and has kept it off for years and years.
Ryan has never had it easy. He has to try a lot harder than other people, but he never gives up. He has excelled in his life and when I tell people that my son works full time at a convenience store, I say it with a big glob of pride, every bit as much pride as the mother of a gifted student who becomes a rocket scientist would have.
Probably more pride because I know how he has struggled to get so far.
When customers are rude to him and tell him to hurry, I wonder if they realize how hurtful that is? That they are being cruel to someone who always tries his hardest and has accomplished more than anyone ever thought he would?
They don't see past the surface.
I think people see his blue eyes, handsome face, and 6 pack abs, and don't even realize that he has learning difficulties. They might see how shy and quiet he is and not realize that he has a speech problem, they will just think he isn't friendly, or has little to say. He has also been called stoned or drunk when people hear his speech or see that he is slow at times when trying to do something.
Ryan has been taken advantage of by some bad people in the past. Low lifes who used his sweet nature against him, so now he lives with us, in an apartment we built over my studio. Its important for him to have his independence, but also to be near family.
But we are lucky to have him here. He helps around the kitchen, mows our acreage, carries in groceries, and never, ever leaves a room without saying "I love you". And that is usually accompanied by me getting a kiss on the top of my head.
Is my family as perfect as it looks on the surface? Oh heavens no.
When you look past the surface you see something better than perfection.
You can see what caring, love, and strength built by adversity and a determination to make it all work better than it should, can do for a circle of people who need each other in their lives.
Oh, Karla, what a heartbreakingly beautiful testimony to your wonderful son…God bless him as he goes about living a good life surrounded by you and yours. Thanks for sharing your take on what he has come through in his journey toward independence. Blessings on your family. Patty in Kansas
Dear Karla, Ryan sounds like such a sweet angel to me!!! The fact that he chose the place to eat that Sugarwings would love, speaks VOLUMES!!! Happy Belated Birthday dear Ryan…I wish you many more! Such a beautiful post dear Karla, we are all the same, one way or another ~ and the fact that your angel kisses you on the head just melts my heart!!! hugs and love, Dawn
Japanese restaurants where everyone gets to sit around the grill are great memory makers.
Happy Birthday, Ryan! May every year be a celebration of delightful times with family and pride for your life.
Karla, you know my feelings and the tears I am shedding now. I’m so glad you did this post. My tears are love and compassion for our special children. Love, Sandy
Both of your sons sound like wonderful men! You have a very special family, full of love and support.
Love the pic of your youngest fairy grandbaby looking so excited. Too cute!
He sounds Perfect to me! You are very blessed and I think he is very blessed to have you for a mother. I love reading blogs when they go “beyond the surface”. I think thats when we get a good idea of who someone really is. Its always nice to see what someone just created, what their last decorating scheme was, what they got when they went thrifting, what trip they’ve just been on, or what they cooked and baked today, but it is also so very nice to read whats in their hearts.
I also appreciated your last post about feeling a little blue.. theres alot of that going on right now in blog land.. and I got a little giggle out of how many times you wrote “worry about my kids”. my last post ran along those same lines. And Ive read a few others struggling with what I consider “the mid winter blues”!
In any case.. you have a beautiful heart! thanks for sharing about your awesome son.
xoxo
vivian
Beautiful post and all I could think while reading your post is haw amazing God’s had was in putting you and your son together. Happy birthday.
Hi Karla,
When I read this beautiful post about your love for your son, I just had to comment. I have an adult son who has struggled all his life with illnesses, cancer and now crohns disease. He has been through so much and just like your son he is intelligent, handsome and kind. He lives with us as well and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m proud of him. He managed to finish tech school and has every certification ever possible in computer science but his illnesses have left him with panic attacks and anxiety that he struggles with everyday.
I’ll say a prayer for your son and he is so fortunate to have you as a loving Mom. God bless you both.
hugs
Sissie
Thank you for sharing your beautiful family, Karla!
I am truly touched by your post about your sweet son. I wish him and his family the best today and forever!
What a sweet story Karla! I think Ryan is as lucky to have you in his life as you are to have him! kisses on the head? Melting…….!
Happy Birthday Ryan! Stay just the way you are!! Hope my son still gives me kisses on the head when he’s a grown man. : )
Sometimes I hate to overstate because it is my familys lives are the ones being talked about, not mine. I try to receipt their feelings and not go beyond the surface with them. But this week, Ive been thinking about Ryan a lot, and have realized that with his IQ and developmental disorders, he has accomplished a lot. I just wanted to say I was proud, and hope that he would not be upset with me if he saw my post. I dont think he ever reads it, tho, so it should be ok.
Sent from my iPad
Sandy, you of all people know how much of your life goes into raising a special child. They dont grow up, go to college and have careers like most other kids. Its a lifetime commitment of being there foe them. Some days are frustrating, somedays we might have a little bit of the what mes? but it is always worth it!
Sent from my iPad
Thanks for sharing that Karla. That you have such a loving family is testimony to what kind of mom you are and the example you have set for all of them. Things may not be “perfect” (whatever that means!) but how lucky you all are to have each other. 🙂
What a wonderful post Karla.
Happy birthday to your sweet son. As a mom of a non-cookie cutter son, I so love
This post. I love it that you get it… Some in my life are not appreciative of my son where he is—right now. They want something they can brag about, I think. Anyway, have fun with your REAL family. I do with mine.
Beautiful post Karla,
You really never know the treasure that lies within a person.
“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
― Agatha Christie
I would have liked to have known that lady too.
Karla, this was a beautiful post. Happy birthday to you and Ryan BOTH!
Hello Karla, Oh what a beautiful post and what a beautiful family you have. Happy Birthday Ryan, what a wonderful son you have. Wishing you a wonderful week.
Hugs,
Terri
So beautifully written dear Karla! Happy Birthday Bucko! Two thumbs up.
*smiles* Norma
Such a lovely,and loving post. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
-maggie
Well,you have brought me to tears today, and I thank you for that. You have been blessed beyond words, and now I have been blessed with the knowledge that a man as wonderful, hard working and affectionate as he really DOES exist. Your cup runneth over!! XOXO
dear karla, i never thought about looking past the cover til we was gifted a special needs grandchild and a grandchild that sees thiings differently than most. i observe how cruel people can be out of their own ignorance to things like that and try to educate them in a positive way to open their eyes to something other than their normal. we are blessed to have these special beings in our world. thanks for sharing about your young man.
What a beautiful post Karla. I’m glad you shared what a special person your Ryan is. You must be so proud of all he has achieved.
This mother of a special needs child totally gets where you are coming from.
Hugs ~ Kerryanne
I think that a child’s birthday is always one filled with so many memories for a mom. I know that every year around the time of my son’s birthday, I relive my pregnancy, his birth, and the years that follwed. Currently, my neice is expecting a child, and we already know that he will be born prematurely. We’re just hoping he can hold on for two more weeks, and so, life feels ‘uncertain. I’m not sure there is such a thing as perfection in life, not the way that some folks perceive it to be, but there is love, and in the end, I’ve always felt like unconditional love is the essence of all that truly matters. You all seem to have that in abundance, Karla.
I used to work with special needs children, once upon a time, and I always felt that it was a privlige to be a part of lives lived so without pretention. Hard sometimes, but so worth it.
Happy birthday to Ryan, and much love to you, today.
Beautiful, Karla, absolutely beautiful – thank you for sharing this with us. ({(hugs)}) Teresa
good on Ryan and congraulations i know of your struggle to have him accepte by the public and his struggle to be acepte ai have children with learning disabilities not as bad but one certiantly is unable to do the job he loves because one person objected to his ability to read an write and gave him bad reviews in a small industry bo now works casual jobs bot good he got himself throughcollage why wont they accepet that he cant write a report but will slowely read it og well he seems to be happy but i get angry
i can understand. i’ve had people refuse to wait on me and hang up on me because they thought i was drunk. it is hurtful.
What a great lady to have so many Angels around you to touch your life and in so doing you spread it around to us. He is a gorgeous young man and what a doll to think of his sweet niece on his special day. May God continue to bless your family snd thank for sharing them with us.
dear Karla..thank you for sharing Ryan’s birthday with us…what a sweet uncle to want to go to a restaurant that sugarwing loves….take care and have a great weekend..
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing the sweet love and pride that you have for your son, Ryan. His success and happiness is a testiment to the love of his beautiful mom and dad…and whole family. God bless you all.
Sent from my iPad
And sometime you can raise a rocket scientist, and when they are 39 they decide to trash their life with substance abuse and loose it all. I know first hand.
You have the best! You have what is real. You are blessed.
XO
Karla, your whole family looks like movie stars! I am glad that they are so close to you. Love definitively makes the world go round, you are a very lucky lady. Unfortunately my daughters can not show affection, something they must have inherited from their father. It hurts when people are cold and distant.
I love that post!
I am also raising a special son and it is not always easy, but family is so important! hugs!karen….
Belated birthday wishes to a man who sounds like he’s a terrific son and one to be extra proud of for all the challenges he’s endured. I’m glad you shared them with us; everyone needs to hear of men (and women) who are like your son. Lovely.
Karla — a beautiful post — straight from your heart —
you are helping others by sharing your story — all our children are beautiful to us — with their own personalities and challenges ,that you shared this is such a blessings – Kathy – ga ♥
What a beautiful post about a perfect young man….by his proud momma. Happy Birthday Ryan!
Karla, such a lovely post by a lovely woman. Hooray for Ryan, all he does and all he is. There is nothing like a mother’s love for her son. You are both blessed, for sure and for certain!
Kate
Karla:
Thank you for sharing, about your son. God bless him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYAN. Not trying to take the attention away from him.
But, I do know somewhat how he feels.
Growing up dirt poor, and having disabilities myself, I know all too well, about people being judgmental & teasing others. Failed first grade, because the teacher said, all I did was daydream. Imagine, an artist daydreaming ! LOL.
Only me growing up I had TEACHERS as well as students tell me I was stupid, dumb, lazy, making me put my nose in a circle on the chalkboard. Because I could not do the math.
Now, there are laws to protect students, from what I went through. (It happened in Vero Beach & Wabasso, Florida. & in Melbourne, Florida.) Even failed the Special Math Classes.
Then found out as an adult I had DYSCALCULIA / a form of Dyslexia. The numbers just all float around everywhere, I would study, and study, and study, then all of it just flew out of my head in the morning, and could not remember a single thing ! And you cannot remember simple instructions, either.
To this day, I still can’t balance a checkbook. But its ok, I don’t have to, I just enjoy life one day at a time, and love my crafts, and create something beautiful, and I don’t need math to do that. Great job, on your beautiful family, Karla. 🙂
Karla, what a beautiful tribute to your wonderful son. I know he is loved just by being part of your family. Now he is loved by so many more people just by knowing you.
I so wish I could take the day off to take your PG class. I hope to see you at the Saturday sale.
I’m so happy I stopped by today… I needed a little bit of something different and this was what I needed, not fluff and blitz, just real and nice. Thx!
Karla,
What a wonderful post about your son and your loving family. You are incrediably blessed! Thanks for sharing your heartwarming story. Happy Birthday to Ryan!
Happy birthday Ryan! He is beautiful. I love how you blog, Karla — long before I met you in person I felt I knew you from the things you have shared.
I’m being selfish, I didn’t see my post here so I have to comment again. I just simply wished your son a Happy Birthday. I know what it’s like to love a special needs child. I was lucky enough to have my niece Vanessa in my life for 32 years. Everyday was a reminder from God to look at this ‘blessed’ child and be reminded of all that is good and pure and innocent, and to remember all that we have and to be Thankful for. Everyday was a wonder to her, every day I was beautiful, I was a good driver, I was a nice person. She saw things I took for granted. Sometimes people just don’t see. People like Ryan and Vanessa are ‘gifts’, look, see……
Happy Birthday to Ryan! He’s a gentle man with a giant heart of gold. I wish my daughter would meet such a sweet man. It was a pleasure to read such a beautiful family story. Thank you for sharing.
Karla,
I just saw this post. You make me cry. What a great Mother & Grandmother you are. In my eyes your perfect~
This was beautiful….the love a mother has for her children is supposed to be unconditional. My mother does not feel that way about her children, so to hear the beautiful things you’ve said makes my heart happy. I strive to be a better mother everyday. Thank you for sharing xxoo Valarie
Karla, what an extremely handsome young man you have there! Wow! (both inside and out!) Thank you for sharing your heart and family with us. You are an amazing and fantastic mother and grandmother and your blog here always inspires me, both emotionally and artistically. You have a beautiful family and they have a beautiful wife, mother and grandmother. Again, thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. I love your site. Its my favorite!!
Karla you touched my heart with such a loving testimony about your son. He is surely the young man he is because of your unconditional love. I am a true believer that God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. It appears that one of his plans for you is to inspire others not only in the art/craft world but inspire others to be better people. Thank you for a heartwarming and lovely post. May God continue to bless you and your family.
What a super mom and grandmom you are. I’ve just read all your posts down to this one (catching up). I just HAD to comment after reading this one, though all of your posts deserve at least a “You go, girl”. You are so generous in spirit. Your love and acceptance reminds me of my grandma, who loved unconditionally. I’m so glad there is a you in this world, and that I know where to find you.
Karla, when I first saw this post, I realized you have more in common with me than just art. I have a young adult son with special challenges, too. He lives with us. Your beautiful tribute to your handsome son spoke to me on so many levels. You are so fortunate to have each other. What a loving mom you are.